46 Girls On The One Thing They Wish Guys Would Do In Relationships

Amazon / The Fault In Our Stars
We all have really warped views about what a relationship ought to look like — whether it’s from Hollywood, your friends’ seemingly perfect relationships, or fairytale ideals, it’s easy to get caught up in grand, sweeping gestures of what guys and girls “should” be doing. But often, it’s the little things that leave you with stars in your eyes and make you remember that person. I polled 46 women on those little things they wish the guy in their life or their future would do — and it turns out the things they’re asking for aren’t 5 karat rings.

1. “I know this is dumb, but the other day, my boyfriend actually commented on one of my Instagram posts and engaged with me on social. He doesn’t really use Instagram and rarely likes posts, so I feel special whenever he makes that little gesture.” — Callie, 22

2. “I love it when my boyfriend leaves a sweet, little note for no reason whatsoever. It just let’s me know he’s thinking about me.” — Kelsey, 23

3. “It’s the simple things that count, and so many guys overlook this. Just a back rub or breakfast or running your hands through my hair in the morning. Tell me I look pretty when I get dressed up.” – Kayla, 27

4. “I love it when he favs and retweets some of my stuff. I just wish he’d do it more often.” — Hannah, 25

5. “Ask if I’m free on Friday, tell me you have reservations at 7, tell me what the dress code is, come pick me up, I will be swooning for a week. That’s all it takes.” – Michelle, 28

6. “I think it’s the sweetest thing when my boyfriend says cute things to me while I’m half asleep. It’s like it doesn’t matter if I hear it or not, he just has to say it.” — Kate, 21.

7. “Every time I see a guy on the subway with flowers, I wish I had someone to do that for me. I can buy flowers myself, but the old-school gesture always makes me want to tell that stranger with the flowers good job.” — Stefanie, 25

8. “While I really like it when guys ask me what I want to do for a date, sometimes I just wish he’d plan something. It doesn’t even have to be anything big but taking a second to, like, do basic style planning goes a long way towards making me feel like i’m on a date and not just another random hang out.” — Josie, 25

9. “Offer to carry my purse, just once… please?” — Catherine, 29

10. “Maybe I’m old fashioned, but it makes me feel so special when a guy pulls out my chair for me at a restaurant. It doesn’t matter where we are, the gesture melts me.” — Becca, 27

11. “My ex was always really kind and courteous to my mom and other family members. It set a bar for the next guy who comes along.” — Emily, 26

12. “The thing that makes me melt more than anything else is when a guy grazes his hand slowly over my back while I’m falling asleep. It’s everything. It’s more than gifts or letters or flowers or anything else. The point is: figure out what makes your girl melt and DO THAT.” – Lauren, 24

13. “I like when a guy asks me what I want to do, but always has a preference for what my answer is. Like, a lot of guys just say, ‘Whatever you want!’ and then get mad when they don’t like what you pick. I wish all guys could be assertive without being selfish, you know?” — Kasia, 25.

14. “I want my next boyfriend to know that I need my space and I want him to respect that.” — Vanessa, 26

15. “At least once a day, just shoot a quick ‘thinking of you’ or ‘how are you?’ text. It lets me know you’re thinking of me, and we can continue on with our separate lives while still letting each other know we’re on each other’s minds.” – Rachel, 25

16. “Once in a blue moon, set up a really sexy romantic night. Candles, the whole nine yards. Women often do this for their men, but God, there is NOTHING as amazing as coming home to your man wanting to seduce you in the way you’d seduce him.”
– Rory, 27

17. “I really wish my boyfriend would be a little more assertive when it comes to making a decision.” — Maddy, 27

18. “Teach me about your video games! Either you give me a few pointers on how to play (thanks for being patient about it) or I resent you for playing and judge you for it. Best case scenario, I’ll learn, get bored, and let you have your insurgent-blasting time on your own.” — Tania, 23

19.Clean it up. I’ve dated so many guys who, once they get a girlfriend, just really let themselves go. They stop shaving or shave less often. They don’t exercise anymore. They stop keeping their apartment clean. Those kinds of things can really make me feel like he thinks I’m one of the bros. I’m not. We are having sex. Shave your face if you’re not growing a beard. Hit the gym twice a week. Clean the sink and toilet. Make me feel like you want to keep impressing me.” — Jenny, 24

20. “My ex used to randomly take my hand in public and hold or rub it and just give me that ‘I love you’ look. We’re kind of private people, so we’re not into PDA or anything… this was so subtle, and I think that was half the magic.” – Emma, 26

21. “Make an effort to befriend my friends. Like, be excited for group outings and try to invite your friends too. There’s nothing more ‘boyfriend material’ than a dude who actively tries to be a part of your life instead of making you force it.” – Sasha, 27

22. “When guys kiss girls to wake them up in the morning… pretty much every woman’s fantasy.” – Taya, 30

23. “My boyfriend will lean over in the middle of a movie theater or restaurant — somewhere in public and really PG — and will tell me that he wants me. I never thought I’d find it sexy, but knowing that he wants me is an ego-boost.” — Britanny, 28

24. “I want him to kiss me when I don’t expect it.” — Danielle, 31

25. “A little dirty talk in public never hurt anyone. I’m not talking about anything crazy but I love when the man I’m dating leans over to whisper to me about how ‘I just look so incredible he can’t stand it’ when we’re out in public. It feels spontaneous and it always makes me feel like he thinks I’m so sexy that he just HAD to say something.” — Gwen, 29

26. “Put meaning into things. Remember little things. Saying that this is ‘our restaurant’ or ‘our song’ makes me feel like you’re paying attention to everything, too (because I’ll be thinking it to myself, anyway).” — Dani, 25

27. “Honestly? Buy me sexy lingerie, but not the kind that makes me think that you think I’m stripping on the weekends and need a new warm-up number. Go to a nice place and get something that would turn us both on.” – Melanie, 23

28. “A handwritten letter, breakfast in bed, a sincere compliment here and there, laying together on the couch after a long day… I don’t know, don’t underestimate how much the little things win a lady over.” – Ellen, 32

29. “A spontaneous massage in bed…” — Anne, 28

30. “Just TELL ME when something is pissing you off. I get more upset when I have to pull the issue out of a guy, than I do when he just balls up and talks about it.” — Sophie, 27

31. “I don’t know if other women would be fans of this, so I guess I speak for myself, but I would love perfume as a gift. I like most smells, and I would love to wear something that drives you crazy every day. We could pick it together, it could be a date. Other than that, forget about jewelry and physical gifts, take me somewhere, do something with me. Anybody can buy someone a necklace, not everybody wants to take a day road trip to a new city and walk around and talk to someone they’re in love with.” – Carly, 25

32. “Let me be silly and out there. Don’t brush me off as just being crazy, and don’t just laugh at my jokes — joke WITH me.” — Rachel, 26

33. “Cook, learn how to cook. We can cook together, it doesn’t matter, but you have to learn how to make some things and serve them to me. It’s a basic of being a person that is alive in the world and when my boyfriend cooks and really enjoys it feels like we’re in it together. Start with one dish and master it, then two, then three. Before you know it you’ll be able to properly say ‘I can cook,’ and mean it.” — Maggie, 26

34. “If you sleep over, get me out of bed just 15 minutes earlier so that we can get coffee. We’re both much sweeter if we say goodbye after we’ve had our coffee.” — Lucy, 23

35. “Be honest. If you don’t want to be in our relationship, don’t be. If you want something to be better, tell me. I don’t deserve fake love, and you don’t either.” – Christa 22

36. “Buy a suit. Get it tailored just for you. Wear it. There is nothing as sexy as a guy in a well-fitting suit.” — Melissa, 29

37. “Be social. If I bring you to an event or somewhere with my friends, don’t talk to me and me alone. The more you make an effort out there, the more you’ll get me alone later.” — Jessie, 25

38. “I am not your ex-girlfriend. Relationship hangovers from past girlfriends isn’t just annoying, it’s unfair. I understand that when I do that one thing I remind you of your ex who also did that one thing and also cheated on you. Her cheating is not connected to that one thing I do. Stop it. Handle your shit so that we can date each other and not just echoes of the past.” — Ellie, 24

39. “Lean over and ask: ‘Can I kiss you?’ Text me and say: ‘Can I take you out this weekend?’ If you want to be more than what we are, say: ‘I really like you and I want to take this to another level and I’d like to talk about what that means.’ Communicate the obvious. It’s often the most important, and most overlooked.” – Alana, 33

40. “Give me a nickname that isn’t ‘babe.’ The cutest nicknames come from our own inside jokes, not some recycled thing that everyone says when they’re drunk.” – Holly, 24

41. “Pay for 50% of our birth control. We’re in a relationship. You should want to pay half the birth control expenses because they’re not for ‘me’ at this point. They’re for ‘us.'”— Yvette, 26

42. “Put your hands on my face, pull me in and kiss me like you don’t get to kiss me all the time.” – Brooke, 23

43. “Don’t feel like you’re being emasculated when I take control of something. Let me pay sometimes. I do it because I want to, not because I want you to feel like less of a man.” — Molly, 26

44. “Be sexy and unpredictable sometimes, without just being a horny bro. Follow me when I leave the room and make out with me in the hallway. Touch the inside of my thigh in a cab.” — Neha, 24

45. “Make love to me. Make sex more than just a race to an orgasm.” – Kelly, 25

46. “Just ask me how my day was. Especially at the end of a really long work day, sometimes that’s all I need.” — Lola, 24 Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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