I have a lot of fears — of course, you already know this. You have seen me at my darkest point in time. You have seen me breaking down in the middle of the night when my demons resurfaced. You have seen me fight against the lies my mind feeds me. You have seen me with every sin, every shame, every anxious moment I’ve had in this life.
I don’t need to keep secrets from you because you already know everything, and that includes even my worst fears. You know that no matter how many times I say that I surrender everything to You, it’s easier said than done. You know my struggles of being a perfectionist and that I need to have a certain amount of control in every aspect of my life to be going a certain way. You know it all. I know that it isn’t easy to be overwhelmed with my fears, but I promise You, I’m trying to put all my fears aside because You are far much greater than all my fears and doubts combined. I know that my anxieties are being caused by my incapability to trust in You completely. I know that I will never achieve complete inner peace if I continue to have unrealistic expectations towards perfection. You are the only perfect being in this world, and I will never be happy in trying to be perfect. With that being said, I will put my trust in You more and actually mean it.
I surrender my fears with regards to my relationship with my significant other to You. Despite what my emotions and my mind is telling me, I will trust in the fact that everything is going to work out in the end. As long as I have Your priorities and You are the core foundation of my relationship, I know that it would lead to a happy and successful marriage. I am choosing to believe that not every relationship will be a one-sided, draining relationship and that not everyone will intentionally break my heart. I am choosing to put You above all my fears, and putting my faith in the person You sent to love the entirety of me. I am choosing to believe that not everyone is going to cheat on me, and that not everyone is going to leave and suddenly decide one day that they don’t love me anymore. Most of all, I’m choosing to believe in the beautiful sanctity of a marriage and that not every marriage fails.
I surrender my fears with regards to my family to You. I know that if it just isn’t in Your perfect timing yet, it just isn’t going to happen. I believe in the power of Your miracles and in using my situation for a breakthrough to happen. Whether or not something just miraculously shifts in my parents’ marriage and in the dysfunction that is happening, I am choosing to surrender everything to You. I am choosing to own my identity that is in no way related to my parents’ dysfunctional choices and not repeat the same mistakes that they did. I am choosing faith over my fear that I, too, might have a failed marriage. I am not, nor will I ever be, my parents’ worst sides, and I will choose to grow out of this situation instead. I know that we don’t always get to choose our family, but we do choose what path to take from that. I choose faith, and I always will.
I surrender my fears with regards to my career to You. I understand that I will always have this need to control the outcome of my life, but I know that if something is Your will, it’s going to happen eventually. I know that waiting is always the frustrating part, but I trust that you will lead me towards a career that fulfills my soul and reflects the very passion I have for what I do. I’m aware that I may choose a different career path from my expectations, but my trust in You is greater than my expectations of perfection. I know that everything is going to make sense to me someday, I just have to wait for Your timing in all of this.
I trust You more than I trust what fears my mind is feeding me with, and I know that I may feel a certain way, but I will never choose to not believe in Your path for me. Fears and anxieties are from the enemy, and I know that I serve a greater God. I surrender everything to You, Lord, from this moment forward.