Christopher Hudspeth

We search for true love and instead find false hope.

Belated brunch is better than no brunch at all, so make sure she knows that she might not have anything to show for giving you birth right now, but some bagels and lox are rapidly approaching.

When you meet, will there be a handshake or a hug? If it’s a hug, will it be like a full on bring it in chest smush, or a side shoulder, one arm type deal?

If Jesus and Debbi Fields had a prodigy baker child, it would be responsible for creating these heavenly (get it?) morsels.

You fell asleep watching a DVD, and the menu is constantly replaying. It’s really annoying.

In no particular order.

10. Mild hallucinations are setting in. Did my puppy just mumble something about Cee Lo Green’s tiny hands and smile with a full set of human teeth?

3. Text message interpreter.