1. Butch chicks, which ends up being unfortunate most of the time, for pretty obvious reasons.
2. Girls who can devour sauce covered chicken wings and aren’t afraid to dive in there without hesitation, be aggressive and get messy.
3. Anytime a girl has an AOL email address because it’s clear to me that she’s the loyal type.
4. Being satisfied with staying in and doing absolutely nothing more often than not.
5. A raspy voice.
6. I don’t want to say crossed eyes, but have you seen Kristen Bells eyes? Well whatever her eyes are considered. I feel like they’re a tiny bit crossed, and whenever I meet a girl with a slightly lazy eye, I’m instantly attracted. I don’t even want to say lazy eye though, more like unmotivated eye.
7. When a woman doesn’t have a Facebook or Twitter, because that means she’s probably not a socialite at all.
8. Piles of clothing on their bed and a little cluttered messiness at their place. Not filthy, but I can appreciate a little chaos.
9. Women who have a kid. Or kids. But she can’t just have the kids, she has to take care of them. Some consider it baggage, but I think single mothers are sexy. You know they can handle responsibility and I can’t even remember to wash my feet every day, but they’re raising a human – that’s pretty damn admirable.
10. A pudgy stomach. Shredded abs don’t appeal as much to me, but I can appreciate fluffiness, or muffin tops as they call it.
11. Obviously gorgeous women who drive a crappy car. I don’t know why, I don’t really understand it, maybe it’s a social status thing? Either way, there’s nothing sexier than the thought of like, Adriana Lima in a 1997 Geo Metro.
12. DISTINCT CLAVICLES! Am I weird? It’s like how women are obsessed with Tatum Channing’s (he meant Channing Tatum) jawline, y’know?
13. Anytime a girl talks with her hands. Like if she has very animated hand gestures, I find that really cute.
14. Women who wear fedoras.
15. Random talents. Female magicians are my kryptonite. Not the beautiful assistants wearing a gown, but an actual woman doing full-blown tricks. That’s just one example though. If a girl can moonwalk or throw food and catch it in her mouth or shuffle cards well – instant turn-on.
16. Ponytails pulled through baseball caps.
17. Emotionally unstable, crazies. I think I’m subconsciously attracted to them, as I wouldn’t knowingly seek out insecurity… Right? On second thought, maybe I’m the daddy issue seeking weirdo?
18. Stretch marks, I swear. I don’t know why they’re so frowned upon, but I like them in the same way people seem to like freckles or whatever.
19. A girl who’s saving herself for marriage like I am. Maybe she’s not necessarily a virgin, but as long as she can understand why I’m waiting and has the same morals and beliefs that I do, that’s attractive to me, even though it isn’t necessarily the popular way to be these days.
20. Veiny breasts.
21. Bad lip jobs, which more or less appears to be every lip job. Don’t know what it is about permanent duck status, but I like it.
22. A woman with a round, potbelly. Not necessarily pregnant, but also not necessarily not pregnant. As long as the look is there, baby or not it reels me in.
23. Nerds. Not just scantily clad, big, black frame glasses wearing chicks, but legitimate nerds. The ones that know HTML and can recap season a random season three episode of Naruto.
24. Military women. We always hear about ‘men in uniform’ being considered attractive, but a lady in some camouflage makes me feel all tingly.
25. Clumsiness. Like a mild, woman version of Steve Urkel. Tripping, spilling things, knocking stuff over. Weird, but I like it.
26. Giant ears that hold back a bunch of her hair.
27. Sweaty girls at the gym. Not glistening, but drenched.
28. Fiveheads. Maybe Rihanna triggered this for me? I don’t know, but I’ve dated like, three straight girls with large foreheads.
29. Back hair, but like, not a beastly amount. That fuzz on women’s lower back is sexy though.
30. LOUD laughers. The kind that’s beyond infectious, but closer to annoying to most people. Well yeah, for some reason they catch my eye… Or ear, I suppose.
31. Bouncy hair.
32. This is going to sound crazy, but girls who joke about poop and gross stuff. A good sense of potty humor or at least being open about burps, farts and the sounds our bodies make is a nice change from those who treat it like an unspeakable subject.
33. This is going to sound terrible, but co-dependence. In that need to needed sort of way.
34. I always find myself being attracted to ladies with crooked teeth, especially the bottom ones!
35. I recently saw my best friend’s girlfriend’s friend hook up an entire TV system. I was going to help but she insisted she had it under control. Within 20 minutes she had mounted a TV, sorted through the cords of an Xbox360 & a cable box, and had the entire thing up and running. So, I guess seeing a woman handle things that are traditionally done by a man.
36. Thigh gaps. Wait, are thigh gaps a common thing to like or no? I don’t know. Thigh gaps or prickly legs. Actually, body hair in general I’m a fan of.
37. Scars and the explanation of how she got those scars. 9/10 it’s a fairly interesting story.
38. Big hands, or more specifically, long, skinny fingers. Also, cold or moist hands.
39. Potty mouths. A lot of people I know are turned off by women who drop f-bombs or whatever but I could watch Chelsea Handler go on explicit rants all day.
40. Super pale skin.
41. Smokers, but that’s probably because my family smoked my entire life and while I don’t, I might be like a secondhand addict or something.
42. Braces. If you knew about my childhood crush on Eliza Thornberry, this would make so much sense.
43. Awkward chicks that are so uncomfortable, I’m the calm one for a change. It’s like, oh, so this is what being the normal one feels like.
44. Being really cheap. I’m a frugal dude so if she’s financially conscious and like, willing to be thrifty with me, I dig that.
45. Big gums.
46. Baby teeth.
48. So not like intense acne, but for some strange reason I like a few blemishes and spots. Maybe because it just shows that she’s human or something?
49. Bowlegged girls do it for me.
50. I just had a talk the other day about how much I love double chins and I can’t figure out why, but I definitely do.
51. Boob sweat. One woman’s annoyance is another man’s strange pleasure.
52. Priers because I’m a really closed off person and it takes a persistent girl to basically force feelings and stuff out of me.
53. Extreme sarcasm – like, to the point where it’s debatable if she loves me or completely hates my existence.
54. Really good handwriting which I know sounds stupid and weird, but I’ve always been fascinated by quality penmanship.
55. Forehead veins.
56. Girls with jawlines like Olivia Wilde.
57. Front teeth gaps. Remember that woman on the London-look commercials? Man, she could’ve been wifey.
58. Big noses.
60. Uncommonly attractive? I don’t exactly have options, so I find a pulse attractive at this point.