Chrissy Stockton

Con: you are mentally ill.

I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe and kneel!

You’ll take the word “yuppie” as a compliment thank-you-very-much.

AIDS needles at the movie theater.

Pornhub released this pretty fascinating infographic based on the most popular search terms for each state.

What Jeopardy! category would you clear, no problem?

When you need someone to open up about something, have them drive you somewhere.

If your school is in a snowy area, cafeteria trays make great sleds.

Rob has a favorite sister, and it’s Kylie.

End up taking pulls of chocolate syrup directly out of the squeezie bottle that you found buried in the condiment shelf in your fridge. Note that the expiration date was 4 months ago. Keep squeezing.

“Someone had actually been living in their attic.”

“Well, you work for free! If you were supposed to be paid, you’d be called a paidlancer or something!”

Dropping a penny off the side of the Empire State Building could kill someone.

You have a “Coexist” bumper sticker….on your bike.

You’re totally going to throw up tonight!

The Royal Tennenbaums almost cost us Arrested Development!

“If tomorrow the world ends–why shouldn’t we be with the ones we really love?”

The bull shark can migrate up rivers, so it’s not even limited to oceans–it’s been spotted as far up the Mississippi as Illinois.