For the record, I am not the girl guys fall madly in love with. I’m the girl guys fall madly in lust with, entertain the idea of for a few weeks ,and then promptly reject for something more… blonde. I guess I never really noticed that I was not “that girl” before because I was in a relationship for so long and thus never had to experience that torture that is dating. I blame my ex for inflating my head with the notion that I was easy to fall for, when in reality over this past summer of trial and error dating I now know the truth — I am not.
I can’t say I don’t have my share of interested parties. I’ve had a few wonderful 1st & 2nd dates, but that’s usually where it ends. I want to be the girl that guys can’t wait to see again. The type of girl who gets “Good morning beautiful” texts and not “Hey what are you up to tonight? ;)” texts. The one that makes you want to be in a relationship because she’s too perfect for you to let go. I want to be the girl who’s hand you grab while you’re simply walking across the street. That girl who you could literally just sit around and do nothing with and still be happy because you’re just that smitten. I’ve heard guys talk about this type of girl in the same amount of reverence the one would use for The Pope, but have I been that girl to anyone? Will I ever be?
I read all the articles about what qualities guys find attractive in a woman and I can usually check yes to all of them. I’m ambitious, gainfully employed, independent, close to my family, a lover of sports (and not in the pretend way most girls are), a great cook, dedicated to fitness, and am sometimes pretty funny. I’ve traveled, I’m understanding, and I have interest and hobbies that keep me from being to dull and boring. On paper I should have suitors up the wazoo but mostly I get a lot of “You’re great, but…” and every time I hear that a little more of my heart turns from open, to closed and cynical.
It’s a humbling and somewhat frustrating feeling dating guy after guy and watching them become indifferent to me. To be good but not quite good enough to qualify for the sweep you off your feet type of romance. Just once I’d like to have a guy I invest time and show interest in to feel compelled to do the same. Is that so wrong? Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be the girl who’s treated the way she deserves instead of like some filler until something better comes along. What I wouldn’t say to have it all be like some scene out of The Notebook or really any romantic comedy where, even though the girl is a hot mess of a disaster she still gets to walk away with her own little Prince Charming.
I want to be that girl so badly it hurts. Those girls they fall instantly in love with never have to wait for him to text her back. They never have to guess how he feels about them or sit in bed at night wondering where they went wrong. Those girls don’t have chip away at his guarded walls slowly because they just come tumbling down for her. The girl guys fall madly in love with is never lonely on a Sunday night (or a Sunday morning if you know what I mean), and I envy her. She doesn’t care if he goes MIA for weeks because there’s always another one waiting to fall in love with her in the wings. To her, relationships are effortless and being single is a state of mind.
The fact of the matter is, we all want to be that girl. It is human nature to want to be loved and love back in return, especially because dating can be so daunting. While I would gladly take notes on how to be the girl every guy falls madly in love with, I’d much rather be that girl for just one guy. And I know he’s out there waiting for me right now.