6 People You Become On Fridays


1. The Admittedly Unproductive

From the moment you wake up, it’s established and accepted that Friday isn’t going to get a ton of productivity out of you. By setting your personal efficiency bar low, you have zero pressure to meet any type of expectations — and it’s Friday, save all that hard work junk for Monday thru Thursday. You refuse to feel bad for substituting studying, helping customers, making phone calls or writing notes with texting your friends about tonight’s plans and extensive YouTube exploration.

2. The In Denial Unproductive

You’ll tell yourself that you’re going to accomplish a lot on this glorious Friday, and while it’s cute that you strive for greatness, the lackadaisical aura that comes with the end of the week will outweigh your desire to take on a heavy workload. Seeing everyone else take extended breaks, browse the Internet and half-assedly cross T’s and dot I’s will wear you down. By noon you’ll cave and be a late blooming version of #1.

3. Overly Anxious, Stressed Out Person

If you’re a worrier who hates going to school and/or work, you’ll experience the misfortune of not being able to enjoy Friday, Saturday or Sunday because you’ll be busy dreading Monday! Sure, it’s officially the weekend in a matter of moments, but you’re living in fear of what comes in 48+ hours, when you have to return to the weekly grind. Maybe you’ll go out to try and ease the stress, or perhaps you’ll lie in the fetal position on your cold, hard kitchen floor, weeping all the way to Monday morning.

4. The I Can’t Wait To Get Home, Put On My Softest Pants And Do Nothing Person

You are going to indulge in a whole lot of absolutely nothing. Yes, you’ll eat things and watch stuff, but aside from that there are no responsibilities or plans you’ve got to fulfill, and that’s a satisfying concept. Just you, and (hopefully) two full days of freedom from the shackles of accountability.

5. Determined To Get Wasted

Sometimes a stressful week can lead to people seeking a little comfort via boozing, and while it’s not the best idea to make a habit of this, nobody can judge a person for deciding that they want to drink enough alcohol to balance out this week’s traumas and hassles. Sure, being this person will probably lead to you sloppily throwing back drinks, wildly dancing and shouting about how this is YOUR song in the bar or club, but if that’s what it takes, give it a shot or ten.

6. The Shopaholic

If it’s payday, you can’t resist spending the money you just received. There might be bills or rent in the near future, but even that won’t stop you. All week you prepared, telling yourself “Hey, dumbass, we can’t afford to be wasteful like we usually are. Spend wisely. When that check arrives on Friday, no Amazon, no mall, no splurging to eat out, no unnecessary purchases. None.” Then you see a cute pair of flats or get invited to a pricey dinner and your resistance is futile. Before you know it, you’ve spent a large portion of your funds in a few swipes of the debit card. Your budget will be the tightest over the next week or two, which will consist of you giving yourself the same advice as before. It’s okay, I’ll be right there with you; we’ll probably try to outbid each other for something pointless on eBay. TC Mark

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Buy "I Love Life, I Just Wish I Were Better At It: Best Of Christopher Hudpseth on Amazon, the iBookstore, and Vook (Outside the U.S.)
Buy “I Love Life, I Just Wish I Were Better At It: Best Of Christopher Hudpseth on Amazon, the iBookstore, and Vook (Outside the U.S.)

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