34 ‘Fuck You’ Christmas Gift Ideas For The People You Really Don’t Want To Shop For

Unsplash / Ben White

If you’re being forced to give gifts to someone you absolutely can’t stand this year, you might as well go all out and let them know how little you actually care about them! Reddit asked its users for the best “Fuck You” gift ideas and they definitely delivered.

1. A self-help book

ya know, a very specific kind of self-help book.

or some deodorant.

— RiverwoodHood

2. “World’s Okayest Boss” Mug

I gave my boss a “World’s Okayest Boss” Mug from http://www.worlds-okayest.com last Christmas because of a reddit post I saw. He thought it was hilarious but it wasn’t really a joke. He’s kinda like Michael Scott without being funny or loving.

— chipdumper

3. Gift them dirty socks (again and again and again)

[My family did this to me when I was a child]

Gift wrap a pair of dirty socks. When they unwrap it and discard it, have someone else sneak off and rewrap them to sneak it under the tree again. 6 year old me began to cry after the 5th time that it was my turn for a present and I got dirty socks AGAIN.

— Nihilism-1___Me-0

4. A giftcard to a shitty place

A giftcard to a shitty place with a small, odd amount (i.e. a giftcard to Subway for $2.37).

— heyimjason

5. Whatever they gave you last Christmas.

Whatever they gave you last Christmas, still unopened. Or opened and just blatantly and haphazardly rewrapped.

6. A locked box without a key

A locked box without the key.

Next Christmas, give them a key but it’s not for that box.

— AphoticAmaranth

7. A cheap perfume giftset

Those perfume/cologne giftsets that you get from the Dollar tree, Rite Aid, or Walgreens.

— soynanyos

8. A gift for their child that’s difficult to assemble

A gift for their child that looks awesome, yet takes many, many hours to assemble.

— Insert2Quarters

9. A shirt that’s too small

A shirt a size too small.

— starryduchess

10. A popcorn tin without the good flavors

Popcorn tin with all of the cheddar and caramel pieces already eaten.

— wompuskat3000

11. Something useless with “sentimental value”

Give someone something totally useless, like a burnt-out lightbulb, and say it has sentimental value to a dead friend or family member. They’ll be annoyed by it, but will feel too guilty to throw it out.

— JollyAberration

12. A donation to an organization they hate

“A donation has been made in your name to” an organization they hate- Planned Parenthood, PETA, The NRA, The Trump Re-Election Campaign …

— ucjj2011

13. Used candles

Candles that you can tell have been burned…

— RoadHogsHooker

14. A condom with a personalized note

A condom combined with small text “if you behave like a dick, you should dress like one too”

— damjam134

15. A gift certificate to an out-of-state boutique

A gift certificate to an out-of-state boutique that has no online shopping and is only open M-F. Oh and make it for a high end equestrian equipment shop even though you have never ridden a horse and have no interest in them.

— bonkette

16. A Mumu

A mumu. About 4 months after they’ve given birth. I know this because my aunt did that to my mom after she had my sister. My mom cried for days.

— jamminatorr

17. Fifty dollars in one dollar gift cards

Fifty dollars in one dollar gift cards.

— Heroshade

18. Something they’re allergic to

My father once gave me a box of chocolates made with peanut butter.

I am anaphylactic to peanuts.

— Lamlot

19. A prank mug

This year I was assigned a co-worker I am not a fan of for secret santa. She’s one of those people that you can constantly hear talking throughout the office and she’s super nosy.

She was devastated when Trump became President and constantly went on about how much she hates him. I found the perfect gift.

I bought her the “I heart trump prank mug”. It starts out black and when coffee warms the cup, it reveals the prank. I doubt it’ll last long before she breaks it, but I can’t wait to see her face when she gets pranked.

— Laundry-Service

20. Trash bags labeled as storage bags

My grandmother gave me a box of trash bags and labeled then as storage bags in the card.

Thanks for telling me all my stuff is garbage, grandma.

— -ferth

21. Sugar free gummy bears

Haribo sugar free gummy bears. I don’t think they,re being sold anymore but there are gummis that will have the same effects.

(Editor’s note: sugar free gummies will give you the shits)

— linux_vegan

22. Actual shit

I remember when I first started watching The Osbournes tv show that someone had insulted Sharon Osbourne to the point that she decided to send them a lump of her own shit elegantly wrapped up in a Tiffany box. I’m both disgusted and impressed!

— McChubbin

23. An accessory to something they don’t own

An accessory to something they don’t own.

— krkr8m

24. Weight loss books

Weight loss books, gym membership, or diet pills

— llcucf80

25. A dog

A dog. You just cost that person thousands of dollars and tons of time and effort.

— deputytech

26. Just an envelope

An envelope without money


27. Glitter bomb

Glitter bomb

— Gingerninja5000

28. free samples

Assortment of free samples. Face wash sample from a magazine at the Dr. Office. Old perfume samples you were handed in the mall.

— exhaustedmom

29. A towel

A towl, for some reason getting a towel for christmas seems like receiving a giant fuck you.

— jarellano698

30. A low quality gift

A cheap, low quality gift with the price tag still on it.

— BlackMilkMan

31. Something that does good for the world

When I have to buy a gift for someone who supports ideas I find odious, I usually purchase either a spice set from Penzey’s or I buy an item whose proceeds benefit the ACLU or Planned Parenthood. It’s super subtle, yet it does some good in the world and/or makes me feel better.

— henrythethirteenth

32. A rubber dick

A rubber dick so you can quite literally tell them to go fuck themselves, obvs

— Hybe529

33. A toothbrush

A toothbrush.

— 71stMB

34. A globe

Give them a globe and a card, in the card write “Now you can see all the places on earth where people don’t give a fuck about you”

— SystemZero Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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