1. Waiting for the guy to call first or text first. If you want to text the guy, text him. If this guy stops being interested in you because you text him when you’re thinking about him, then what the hell are you doing wasting your time pining over him? On to the next!
2. Waiting for the guy to make the first move. Yawwwwwwwwwwn. Are you done with this yet? If you see someone interesting, go up and say hello. Show you’re interested. If a guy is not into you because you approached him, is this really someone you’d like to have sex with? REALLY!?
3. Expecting things from the guy that you are not doing yourself. You’re not texting because you don’t want to seem like you care too much, but you expect him to text. You’re not going up to the guy because you’re scared of rejection, but you expect him to go up to you and risk it. You’re not a delicate flower that needs saving. Treat yourself and others the way you want to be treated.
4. Waiting for the guy to dictate the level of commitment in the relationship. Is there anything in the world that makes you feel more like shit than being uncertain about where you stand? Most guys will drag their feet for months when it comes to commitment. Why are you putting up with that? If you don’t want shit to be casual, stop accepting casual shit. Come on.
5. Waiting for the guy to say “I love you” first… and then not allowing yourself to care about him until you know how much he cares about you. All this does is make you feel less and less in control of your own life. It sucks. You know it. All these things suck. So, why are you still doing them?
6. Making excuses for some guy that does not deserve your excuses. If a guy is really into you, you won’t need to make excuses for his shitty behavior. Hold out for the person who will respect your time and effort and energy enough to show up fully to whatever it is you two are doing.
7. Trying so hard to understand or give reasons to why some guy is not interested in you to the extent you’re interested. He’s not broken. He’s just not into it. Why break your back trying to understand his complex emotions? You’re not his therapist. Plus, you have your own shit to deal with.
8. Giving the guy all the power in the relationship. You demand respect, but you don’t even respect yourself enough to state your intentions. You can define the terms of the relationship, too. You don’t have to sit there and be a girl in waiting for him to throw you a bone. You’re better than that and honestly? YOU KNOW YOU ARE. THAT’S WHY YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT ALL THE TIME IN THIS RELATIONSHIP YOU THINK IS WORKING.
9. Putting up with and accepting less than what you want. No, you shouldn’t start off a relationship by compromising on pretty much everything that is important to you. What guy is worth that? So many women think they have to lessen themselves and what they want in order to be accepted. Fuck that. Show up as you fully and demand what you want. Don’t you want to date the guy who’s interested in THAT girl?
10. Lying to yourself about what’s really going on in the relationship. He’s not making plans with you? He’s not keeping in touch throughout the week? Girl, HE IS NOT INTERESTED. Stop wasting your time!
11. Not being honest with yourself. You feel terrible in these undefined powerless relationships. Yet, you keep accepting them. Tell yourself the truth. You may not want marriage and commitment, but, at the very least, you do want to feel heard and equally accounted for in whatever dating situation you’re in. When you keep giving all those decisions over to the guy, you find yourself accepting what you’ve been given, instead of enjoying what you DESIRED all along.
12. Not realizing you’re better than this. You know it deep down. And perhaps the part that feels worse than anything is knowing you’re letting yourself down by eschewing what you want in lieu of what other people want. STOP DOING THAT.