7 Tactics Narcissists Use To Keep You In Love With Them After They’re Gone

Thought.is
Thought.is

1. They flaunt their indifference. They act as though the relationship meant nothing to them.

At the end of a relationship, narcissists will often act as though it really meant nothing at all to them in the first place. They will play off the loss as though it’s a relief to be rid of you, and don’t seem to be processing the normal emotions that would come during a breakup. This leaves you questioning, if not outraged, which is exactly what they want: they’re getting your attention while preserving their ego.

2. They take the blame for the relationship ending, which seems like a positive thing, until you realize that it’s just another way to maintain control.

As long as they think the relationship ended on their terms, or because of their faults, it creates an assumption in their minds that they can then fix it, or have you back whenever they want. They will not assume full responsibility for what went wrong unless they want to do just that: have you wrapped around their finger again.

3. They keep coming back, or keep stringing you along.

They comment on your photos, text you now and again, say they miss you without any much of a follow-up. They drop into your life in bits and pieces, just to make sure you’re still thinking of them.

4. They talk in vivid detail about how you’re soul mates, and how much they love you and are destined for you, then leave you high and dry.

The thing about a narcissist is that they always assume they are greater than everybody else, therefore meant to have a destiny that’s greater than everybody else’s. They feel they should not settle for anything less than soul mate love, that they’re worthy of a top-tier job, that their ideas are more superior and informed than other’s. This all leads them to projecting their superiority onto their idea of romance, and glamorizing what they think they have with you. This only leaves you confused when they eventually leave you for something else they’ll idealize and fall in love with.

5. They move on immediately, and make you jealous.

A day after you’ve called it quits, they’re flirting with people on social media and re-downloading their dating apps. Though it makes you feel as though your relationship was meaningless to them, what’s really happening is that their main source of admiration and attention is gone, and they need another one to sustain themselves.

6. They turn to you for comfort, for solace, or when they just need a friend.

The way they confide in you makes you feel as though you’re an important part of their life, or as though you mean more to them than you do. However, when it comes to continuing or rekindling a relationship, they’re completely closed off, though they’re acting in decidedly partner-like ways.

7. They refuse to give you closure.

They don’t say the relationship is over, they just stop reaching out. They don’t tell you they want to be single, they just date you for a while and refuse to commit. Basically, they keep you leeched onto them so you continue to offer love, sex, attention and of course, your desire, as they lack the empathy to perceive what this would do to you. TC mark

Brianna Wiest

My new book on self-sabotage will be out in June 2020

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