1. They do not believe every feeling they have means something. They don’t assign value to everything they feel. They know that conviction doesn’t make something true.
2. They aren’t threatened by not being right. They understand that having a misinformed belief or incorrect idea does not invalidate them as a person.
3. They do not use logic to deny their emotions. They validate their feelings by acknowledging them; they do not say someone “shouldn’t” feel a particular way if they do.
4. They do not project meaning onto everything they see. Particularly, they do not assume that everything they see or hear has something to do with them. They do not compare themselves to other people, simply because the idea that other people exist in comparison to oneself is mindless at best and selfish at worst.
5. They do not need to prove their power. Rather than embody an inflated image of their invincibility, their disposition is predominantly peaceful and at ease, which is the mark of a truly secure person.
6. They do not avoid pain, even if they are afraid of it. They cope with discomfort in favor of breaking an old habit, they trace the root of a relationship issue rather than deflect from the symptoms. They recognize that the discomfort is in avoiding the pain, not the pain itself.
7. They do not seek out other people’s flaws in an effort to diminish their strengths. They do not respond to someone’s successes with observations about their failures.
8. They don’t complain. When people complain, it’s because they want others to recognize and validate their pain, even if it’s not the real problem, it’s still a form of affirmation.
9. They do not filter out certain aspects of an experience to catastrophize it. People who jump A-Z and only think up worst case scenarios usually do not have the confidence that they can take care of themselves if something unexpected were to arise – so they prepare for the worst, and rob themselves of the best in the process.
10. They do not keep a list of things people “should” or “shouldn’t” do. They recognize that “right” and “wrong” are two highly subjective things and that believing there is a universal code of conduct to which all people need to adhere only makes the person who beliefs that consistently disappointed.
11. They do not consider themselves a judge of what’s right or wrong. Especially when it comes to offering friends’ advice, they don’t assume their ideal response to a situation is the solution everyone needs.
12. They do not draw general conclusions from their personal experiences. They do not draw their own generalized conclusions about the human race based on the small percentage of the world that they experience each day.
13. They do not change their personality based on who they’re around. Everyone fears rejection, but not everyone gets to truly experience the kind of acceptance that comes from being yourself unconditionally.
14. They can stand up for themselves without being aggressive or defensive. Though it sounds like a contradiction… aggressiveness or defensiveness is indicative of insecurity. Calmly standing up for oneself is indicative of inner resolve and self-esteem.
15. They do not assume that the way their life is is the way it will always be. They are always conscious of the fact that their feelings are temporary, be them good or bad. This makes them focus on the positive and let the negative go with more ease.