Everyone wants someone who feels like home, it’s a cliché, it’s a dream, it’s an illusion we made up in our minds. But what happens when that heart we made home decides it’s had enough? What happens when it packs up and walks away? What happens when that heart falls for another heart beating inside a ribcage that’s not yours? What happens when that heart wakes up to another body that isn’t yours?
What happens when the only home you’ve ever known leaves you out in the cold to fend for yourself?
It sounds beautiful, doesn’t it? To unpack your life and make a home out of someone else’s heart, to settle down and understand what everyone means when they say home isn’t a place, it’s a person.
But they never talk about what happens when that person leaves, when they walk away after promising to stay because even though everyone promises to stay, they don’t. If only people kept their promises and stayed.
People leave, feelings change, emotions differ, hearts break.
When you make a home out of someone else’s heart when they leave you’ll be left with nothing. Your heart will break and your world will flip. Where you once knew the luxury of living in warm and safe comfort, you will soon know what it feels like to be cold on the streets fending for yourself. You will see what it feels like when everything you’ve ever had has been ripped from underneath you in the blink of an eye.
I don’t want you to feel that. I don’t want you to experience that pain because it hurts like hell.
Make yourself home, greet yourself with loving, warm smiles and heartfelt compliments. Don’t shut the door on yourself, don’t think you need someone else in your life in order to complete you, in order to make you feel like you found some place to belong. Don’t think you’re not enough on your own because you are. You are more than enough on your own and love shouldn’t complete you because you are already whole on your own.
It’s hard to put your broken heart back together when someone leaves; to find all the tiny shards you know you missed because you can feel all the empty spaces of your heart throbbing for the missing pieces to be replaced. But the truth is, your heart will never feel whole again.
You will know what it feels like to have loved and lost, and after that part of you will forever belong to that person. Now you have to try to pick yourself up when you feel like you’re standing on a patch of black ice that keeps bringing you to your knees when you’re so desperately trying to stand back up on your own.
But please know this isn’t the end. You will pick yourself up. You will find your home in yourself when your heart breaks in ways you didn’t know was possible. You will find your home and this time it won’t be in the heart of someone else, someone who promised to stay when they knew they’d leave.
You see, there’s freedom in a broken heart, there’s no chains holding you down anymore. It gives you the opportunity to care for yourself in ways you lacked before.
Don’t make a home out of someone else’s heart, no matter how wonderfully cliché it sounds. Be your own home, your own warmth, your own comfort, your own strength because you are enough all on your own.