As young women in America, we are brought up with one major objective: finding the best possible guy for us so we can eventually settle down. We are raised with a variety of ideals about what men can offer in order to keep us happy. We will create mental checklists about what all a man needs to be and what all he needs to do in order to qualify for our attention, but how often do we ask ourselves, “What am I bringing to the table in the relationship?”
In this day and age, women have this idea that they can be their best selves for a man by being the total package, which mainly includes brains, beauty, and accomplishments. They sometimes seem to think that because they look good, have a college degree and a high paying career, that should be enough to satisfy the man of their dreams. As a woman, you can be smart, good looking, talented, accomplished, and make good money, but how much do those things matter to the one you are with?
Some men like to play it off like they don’t need a relationship. They will put down modern women and pretend as if all they need in life is a call-girl for sexual gratification, a dog for companionship, and a maid to cook for them. Don’t let this fool you. Most grown men would really like to have a real love and connection with a woman who is special to him. He just doesn’t know of many women that posses the qualities he’s looking for.
The problem might be in the possibility that many women are clueless as to what things a man is seeking in a woman when thinking about the long term. They are so focused on what they are getting and don’t seem to take much time to think about what they are giving. These women might think they know what men want because of what they have been told makes them a total package, but they aren’t really paying attention when a man is communicating what he prefers.
While beauty, intelligence, and success are all things that men find attractive in a woman, she must stop and ask herself what else she has to offer that is unique and valuable to him. What is he getting out of the relationship and what is going to make him stick around? Of course it’s good for women to evaluate the man she is seeing and how happy she is in the relationship, but it’s also necessary to think about his happiness too. Her good looks and income will likely only take her so far.
Believe it or not, men actually appreciate many of the same things we do while in a partner. Think about everything that would like to have in your relationship, and think about whether or not you are offering that yourself. How are you showing your love and respect for him? Are you being supportive and comforting when necessary? Are you making an effort to dedicate your time, energy, and companionship to him? If you live together, are you being an equal or appropriate contributor financially and doing household work? Are his romantic and sexual needs being met as well as yours?
He wants to have a real partner, someone who is loyal and committed, someone to share experiences with and to have intellectual conversations with. He also wants a woman that challenges him, that inspires him to be the best man he can be, someone that gives him a reason to wake up and smile every day. Sometimes it seems as though women don’t realize how important this is for maintaining and healthy and lasting relationship with a man. Specifically, what your significant other wants from you might be a little different than what another man wants from his girlfriend, so the best thing you can do is open the lines of communication and take action.
Remember that the goal is figuring out what you can do that adds enhancement, value, and completion to your relationship. If equality is what you are after, keep in mind the bottom line: Don’t expect anything of your man that you aren’t willing to offer him yourself.