1. Give your crush a specific ringtone.
Because there is no feeling quite as disappointing as hearing your phone beep, rushing to see how many “hahaha”s that quality joke you just sent them will get, and seeing the text is from…your mom. Oh.
2. Turn your phone on silent and hide it underneath your pillow.
…But then continuously grabbing it again to check. They say a watched pot never boils, so you put that shit out of reach. For like, a minute. In fact, when you put it on silent, you seem to end up checking it even more. Plan kind of backfired on you, huh?
3. Find out they like something and suddenly become a certified expert on it.
“Oh, you like Dr. Who?”
*one hour later*
“I love how the noise the TARDIS makes was created by rubbing piano strings with a key. They’re like, so creative!”
4. Lurk so hard on social media, you’ve learned the identity of all their exes.
Hey! It just happened! One minute, you were innocently scrolling. And the next, you were looking at photos of them in Hawaii together. You’re Alice and you can’t dig your way out of this damn rabbit hole.
5. Craft a playlist of songs that make you think of them.
Listen to it on a constant loop. Drift off into fantasy daydream land where the two of you are holding hands in a flowery meadow, or snuggling up in a hot tub. Even just grocery shopping together. *sigh* What?? It’s totally normal to make a soundtrack for your potential relationship. You know, way before it actually becomes a relationship.
6. Get overly concerned when they are tagged in photos.
That’s his sister, right???? I mean, tell me it’s his sister. She’s so pretty. I hope that’s his really pretty sister.
7. Overanalyze their emoji use.
The blush/smiling emoji = You’re right, I’m in love with you.
The monkey hands over the eyes = Yep, I’m definitely in love with you.
The eggplant = Marry me?
8. Stalk your own Snapchat updates to see if they’ve looked at them.
Posting that selfie where you look hot af with the kissy emoji in the corner was incredibly calculated. What’s the point if they don’t even look?
9. Frequent spots you know they hang out at.
But not because you hope to bump into them! Lol, NAH, that would be crazy…you just…you need a lot of things from Target…multiple times in a one day.
10. Screenshot what they say and call in reinforcements.
You’ve forgotten how to converse with another human being and need other people to help you formulate sentences. Good thing you’ve got a squad to call upon, so you start screenshotting and sending your best friends everything that’s happening. Followed up with a panicked, “WHAT DO I SAY BACK?” text from you.