10 Things To Know About Dating An Emotionally Expressive Girl

1. Calling her crazy is the kiss of death.

This is, by far, the worst thing you can call someone expressing emotions. It’s an easy way to dismiss the way someone feels. And why would you want to do that? A better approach is to say: “I want to understand where you are coming from right now. Can we try discussing this in a different way? Because I validate you are feeling like this and want us to have better communication.” And if that sounds like too much, you should just go date your hand. Because the reality is whether or not someone is emotionally expressive, “crazy”, or that super-chill-girl, everyone has moments of irrationality. And if you aren’t willing to try talking those out? Good luck having a long-term relationship of any kind. Seriously, call her crazy and see what happens.

2. You won’t have to guess what she’s thinking.

None of this: “What’s wrong?” And her shrugging – when in actuality, everything is wrong. She’s just not going to admit to it. No, an emotionally expressive girl is going to be open with why she’s upset. She’s not going to try and conceal anything. If something’s going on, she’s going to talk to you about it. You won’t have to play any guessing games with her. She’ll always be upfront and honest.

3. She’s going to bawl her eyes out at Marley & Me.

Okay, so really, most of us do. But she’s going to get teary-eyed at commercials or touching viral videos. She’s not afraid to cry in movie theaters, the car, your apartment. If the *feelings* hit her, she’s going to let those beautiful waterfall of tears flow freely. And (SPOILER) if you didn’t warn her about the ending of I Am Legend, you have no one but yourself to blame.

4. She’s going to worry about you.

When you become an important part of her life, you become a big priority. When you hurt, she hurts. So she’s going to not only want the best for you, but she’s going to worry from time to time. Are you stressed at work? She wants to make it better, even if she realistically can’t. You might not be as emotionally expressive as she is, and that’s perfectly fine. She just wants to know you’re okay. And if you’re not, she’s going to want to fix it. She knows this isn’t her responsibility, but that doesn’t mean she still won’t want to. If she cares about someone, she cares deeply. She truly wants your happiness and security.

5. You can trust her with your deepest secrets.

Maybe you aren’t someone who opens up easily. Or maybe you do. But when you date a girl who is comfortable with emotions and expressing various feelings, you can be guaranteed she will never judge you for what you feel/say. Consider her your personal safe zone – anything you confide will be precious cargo and treated with utmost care.

6. Passion is her middle name.

So maybe it’s actually “Ann” or “Elizabeth” – minor technicalities. She does most things, if not everything, with incredible passion. If she gets excited about a project, it will be seeping out her pores. Her energy is often contagious and yes I know what you’re thinking – this excitement DOES translate to the bedroom. WINKY FACE.

7. Having a sense of humor doesn’t mean making fun of her.

I feel like we’re all taught the difference between laughing AT someone and laughing WITH someone pretty early in life. This should go without saying, but if she’s upset about something (even if it’s ridiculous) making a joke out of her isn’t the best go-to. Maybe you can make a joke out of the situation, but making her the butt of it? That’s just not very nice. She can likely laugh at herself, but make sure you’re doing it together and not just laughing AT her.

8. Yes, her PMS is next level.

Don’t ask about it. Just create some calendar and keep track. I’m not going to try to sugar coat it. Just ride it out hon. This too shall pass.

9. She pays attention to the little things that make you feel better.

Especially if you aren’t as forthright with how you’re feeling. She’s going to take note of the foods that you really enjoy or when your favorite musician is in town. She’s a pro at remembering all the small things that end up making a big difference.

10. You might not always understand why certain things upset her.

Emotionally expressive people aren’t necessarily any deeper or more in touch than anyone else, they are just more comfortable exposing those feelings to others. So maybe she sees a family in Target and gets a bit weepy-eyed and you’re scratching your head like, “Um, Babe?” Maybe she’s feeling moved by seeing a loving family, or missing her own, maybe it’s something totally unrelated but seeing them reminded her. It’s okay that you don’t always get her. None of us 100% understand each other because we’re all walking different paths, even if we’re going side-by-side. She doesn’t expect you to understand her, just like she might not fully understand you. But if you love each other, it’s worth it. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨


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