I remember the first time someone told me I was a member of the IBTC, otherwise known as the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, I was mortified. It was like…oh, OTHER people know I have tiny boobs too? OH NO! HOW WILL I EVER FIND LOVE?!
And truthfully, it remained one of my biggest insecurities for a very long time. I once made a promise to myself, “Never take your bra off during sex. Never let a man find out Victoria’s ‘Secret’ is that she made you two cup sizes bigger.”
Of course, that wasn’t the case. I let my lil’ boobies fly free eventually. It took a long time to gain comfort in my own skin and realize having small breasts was not some hinderance to my life. In fact, there are some pretty cool things about having little lady lumps. So to my ladies out there with smaller chests, I salute you.
1. You don’t have to ever wear a bra.
This is truly remarkable. Bras suck. Pants suck. Honestly, anything that requires some level of restrictiveness? NOT DOWN WITH IT. I recently mentioned to my BFF, Johanna Mort, that I thought my boobs were a bit bigger because, for the first time ever, it hurt a little when I was jogging and not wearing a sports bra. She responded, in Johanna fashion, “Congratulations! Should we throw you a bat mitzvah?!” But seriously, I wear a bra about as often as I listen to my own advice when it comes to love. *hint* RARELY.
2. You’re going to be the bud (lol) of jokes sometimes, but that’s okay.
If Johanna had said that to me when I was sixteen and crippled with insecurity and self-esteem issues? Um. Would have laughed and wanted to cry right after. But now that I can actually own who I am and what I look like, it’s okay to joke right back. “Yep, my boobs are finally coming in. Fingers crossed they stay!” Don’t let someone messing with you mess with you. You’re great, as you are. Seriously.
3. Back pain? What’s that?
I’m sorry to all my ladies who struggle with this. Like Johanna, girl, I’m so sorry. Big boobs = back pain. If I could take some of the pain away from ya’ll, I would, but alas, my little boobies are just chilling here like, “We couldn’t hurt you if we tried.”
4. You can wear low-cut tops and nobody really cares.
I personally think you should wear whatever you want, whenever. Doesn’t matter your body type. Cleavage. No cleavage. Who cares?! DO YA THANG! (I support you all) But unfortunately, there are times when other people make comments or judgements. If you have small boobs? You can wear something that would be way more revealing on someone with a larger chest and nobody really notices. Plunging necklines + no bras = small boobies paradise.
5. You can probably fit your boobs in your hands.
Why do I think this is cool? I don’t know, but I seriously do. Sometimes, I just sit and touch my boobs and I’m like, “I’m not even doing this in a sexual way, I’m just so impressed I can almost 100% palm my own breast with my hand. IT FITS PERFECTLY!”
6. Size doesn’t determine sexiness.
Who cares the size? The shape? Nipple to boob ratio? We get so bombarded with images in the media of what sexiness is supposed to be. Magazine covers with headlines like, “How to get the body he’ll lust after!!!” And just. Ew! Lust after your damn self! Love yourself! Tell the magazines to shut the fuck up because they aren’t the sole decider of what is or isn’t sexy. You are. You decide how you feel sexy. And side note, if that decision involves plastic surgery, I support you too. As long as YOU are making the choice of what empowers you. Nobody else, capeesh?
7. They might save your life.
It’s easier to detect unusual lumps in smaller breasts, so there’s a good chance you’ll notice something abnormal. This feels like a good moment to remind all my ladies out there to do regular self-exams. Feel yourself up in the shower. It’s fun!! (And could alert you to something a little off that requires a doc appointment)
8. One of the perks? That perkiness.
Not that there is anything wrong with sagging because it’s a natural part of the aging process, but your lil’ ladies are likely still perky and just chilling like, “AY, WHERE DA PARTY AT?”
9. Sorry Lana Del Rey, no summertime sadness for us.
Summertime is when you shine bright like a diamond (a moment of appreciation for how beautiful Rihanna’s breasts are, dear lord). Strapless dresses. Bandeaus. Bralettes. NOTHING IS HOLDING YOU BACK. This is YOUR season.