Anonymous

And, even though food service workers don’t love to talk about it because it doesn’t look good for their victim complex, they make pretty good money.

One second I’m watching Bey walk in, and the next second I’ve bee-lined straight for her, and am somehow arm-in-arm, escorting her into the nearest dressing room.

There are times when you look at your friend and realize they’ve been much more all along. So what do you do?

Don’t add in “I miss you” as the reason you suggest we grab coffee and catch up sometime. When we both know we’ll never make good on that promise.

If you inquire as to where they were on a certain night, why they are texting so-and-so, or any other obvious indicators that something could be happening, and they immediately become very defensive and angry with you, that is the biggest red flag.

Contrary to popular opinion, you don’t need to be 80lbs and a skeleton to be struggling with an eating disorder.

If you fell off your high horse and suffered a concussion or broken arm, would you know what to do without calling the hospital? When does a head injury need stitches? Do you know? I do. That makes me a Doctor.

To anyone with half a brain this would serve as a warning, but to white girls from Connecticut such things are so disgusting they’re actually glamorous.

9. The “I’ll pay you back next week” friend.

Good things come to those who venture out into the world, and make good things happen for themselves.

The usual scenario is this (and, again, it’s only happened a few times): I go on a date with a woman, I don’t really enjoy it that much, and I don’t want to see her again. She texts me — once, then twice, then three or four times — and I don’t respond. I delete her number from my phone. I move on.

I’m a fit, masculine, relatively good-looking white top, 5 foot 10 inches, blue eyes, short hair.