It’s not easy to love an independent person…at least not in the beginning. After so many years of depending on their own sense of self, they have grown quite comfortable with the thought that they don’t need you. They are already happy with what they do, with what they have, and with where they are. Their hearts are beating just fine, even without a significant other.
They don’t long for you. They don’t miss you. They don’t wish they have someone like you in their lives.
That’s what happens when people survive solitude – they become strong, capable, and independent.
But that doesn’t mean they are not going to give you the chance to prove your good intentions. It doesn’t mean that their hearts turn ice-cold, and that they don’t believe in love anymore. It doesn’t mean that they have completely shut their doors to anyone who wants to reach out to them.
It just means that you have to try to convince them, and give them good reasons to fall in love with you.
It means you have to win their big yes slowly, one baby step at a time. Because if you attempt to rock their boats aggressively, they are going to freak out. They are going to scream at you and tell you to back up. They are going to bolt back to their personal bubble and won’t let you in.
They are going to be difficult to handle. They are going to challenge you about how far can you go. They are going to make you want to give up.
But don’t quit.
Because they see all your efforts. They recognize the times that you become patient to them. They appreciate the moments when you chose to stick around, regardless of how often they make your blood boil.
Understand if they want to be alone for a while to read a book in a corner. Understand if they want to get lost in their own thoughts. Understand if they politely ask for a little bit of temporary space when they need to recharge. Understand whenever they make it seem like their careers are more important than you.
Respect that they care very much about their time. Respect if they can’t go out with you on weeknights. Respect if they don’t want to share foods with you. Respect if they don’t want you to be too touchy.
Respect if they can’t entertain yet the idea of living in one roof, or even sleeping in one bed.
But love them fully anyway.
Love their sassiness that sometimes drives you insane. Love their flawed, imperfect ideas on how to make a great relationship work. Love how they roll their eyes, and then hide their smile whenever you show your hopeless romantic side.
Love their ability to do anything they want, and to go anywhere they want on their own without feeling insecure. Love their confidence to stand up for injustices. Love their bravery to speak their minds with strong convictions.
Love the fact that they conquered, and fought their hardest battles on their own.
It might be hard to love them at first, but once they let their guard down and show you their vulnerability, every step you take to earn their love is going to be worth it.