If you’re an extroverted introvert and you feel like no one gets you, you’re not alone. Literally no one seems to understand the concept in the first place — that you can be very social at times but need your space to recharge. They just figure that if you don’t hide in your room all day, there’s no way you could be introverted. Not true! Read on to see if you relate to these common misunderstandings:
1. You’re friendly, so everyone assumes you’re super outgoing.
Somewhere down the line, people started to take the idea of introversion to mean bitter, closed-off, emo outcasts. That is beyond inaccurate. It is absolutely possible — and in fact, pretty common — to be a normally functioning and happy member of society who is also introverted. Unfortunately, because you’re just as social as the next person, no one gets that you need lots of solo time in order to be that way.
2. Your pals refuse to believe you’re introverted because you are social around them.
If they don’t see it, it must not be true, right? Friends and family will often protest your declaration of your status as an extroverted introvert. They don’t get it. You’re always talkative and fun with them, so how could you ever be quiet or shy? They should know that people are complicated and multifaceted, but still they try to put you in a tiny box. There are few conversations more frustrating than trying to convince someone close to you that you are what you know yourself to be.
3. You’re always in trouble with people for not inviting them along to do stuff.
Because they don’t understand your need for alone time, they take your lack of an invitation personally. They’re constantly hounding you to let them know when you do whatever it is that you need to do to recharge on your own. It could be any number of things — hiking, running, biking, sitting in a park reading, going to a bar solo for a well-made cocktail. Maybe you like to hang out in museums or people watch from a cafe. Whatever it may be, most people don’t get the concept that you might like to do those things … without anyone else.
4. You inadvertently make everyone think you don’t like them because you never make plans.
You might arrange social meet ups with others here and there, but not on the level that most do. That’s because you are so comfortable on your own that you don’t need anyone else there when you decide to go do something. This is not true of many others, and so they are flabbergasted that you wouldn’t automatically search for someone to go with you. Because you are happy alone, the people close to you start to take your omission of them personally.
5. You’re the last person in the world that anyone would think dislikes being around other people… but you do.
It’s not that you hate everyone, but big crowds and noisy groups truly drain your energy. You can’t help it — that’s just the way you operate. You may become anxious and irritable in situations that others do not mind or even find exhilarating. In small doses, you’re good, but you are not down for that kind of environment all the time. The problem is that because you’re generally pleasant and sociable, no one understands why you don’t want to be at large functions for very long.
6. You have a tough time getting others to understand that you love being alone.
Most likely, you end up spending a lot of energy convincing the people around you that you’re not depressed, you just like being by yourself. It can be maddening when someone won’t accept who you are just because they don’t get it. Unless they are also an introvert or an extroverted introvert, the average person is actually rather uncomfortable alone. They don’t like to sit with themselves — they prefer the distraction of company. You’re practically an alien to them.
7. You’re always ghosting out of social events and people don’t like it at all.
You can only take parties for so long before you feel suffocated by the sheer amount of humanity in your vicinity. You need to get away so you can get back to yourself. Long goodbyes aren’t your thing, so you usually just dip out when no one is looking. This doesn’t always go over well with the friends you leave behind. The best you can hope is that they are too drunk or distracted to get mad over it.
8. You’re sometimes construed as selfish because you need space and independence.
Doing your own thing makes you truly happy. Unfortunately, not everyone else sees that and gets it. There will be those — probably a lot of them — who get annoyed or hurt because you want to be by yourself a lot of the time. They will make it about them rather than understanding that it’s simply a part of who you are. Try not to get frustrated, but if they refuse to see your side, put some distance between you. You are who you are, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Don’t change because someone else wants something you can’t give genuinely. You’ll be miserable.