Last night I went on a double date. My roommate and I met these guys over the weekend and were getting dinner in West Hollywood. We were the first to arrive, so the hostess walked my roommate and I over to the table. We told him we were waiting for two more and gave the hostess their names. He asked us if we knew the guys we were meeting. We said, not really, we just met them the other day. He said, ”Wow I miss those days. I have a girlfriend now.”
His words really got me thinking. If I was in a relationship right now, this dinner date wouldn’t be happening. But I am single and I am fully focused on myself. I like how unpredictable things are at this stage in my life and I’m not sure I’m in a place where I want that to change.
When you’re single, it may be easier to focus on what you don’t have. It’s easy to get caught up in the tornado of comparing yourself to others. You may start wishing you had someone that made you as happy as that person your friend or relative is in a relationship with. You focus on what is seemingly missing from your life.
It’s always going to be easier to focus on the negative. So start focusing on the positive. When you’re single, you are fully able to be explorative and expressive without limitation. Perhaps someday you will find someone that makes you a happier person, but when that time comes, you will be better off for the time you had to yourself.
Hook up with whoever, wherever, whenever.
Go on double dates, go on blind dates.
Ask the bartender for his number. Flirt with the waiter.
Focusing on what you love, and finding inner happiness with yourself, will also help you pick the right person when they come along. We all need balance and starting to find happiness with yourself will allow you to accept and want happiness from other people, without being completely dependent on it.
Many people fall into relationships for the wrong reasons; dependency, convenience, trying to move on from someone else. I’m convinced this is what has led to an increase of lying, cheating, and divorce.
Know that your story is not going to look like someone else’s, or better yet your perception of someone else’s. So, stop focusing on what you don’t have and focus on all that you do have. Every part of your life is exciting at whatever stage you happen to be in. Age doesn’t matter, relationship status doesn’t matter.
Who you are as a person, how you treat people, and how you treat yourself, matters.
Be present, because each moment is precious, unique, and too short.