If he doesn’t like you, why do you like him?
Although this occurs with both genders, I can only speak to the female side. Whether a guy blows you off or disappears, why do females typically continue to hold on? Why do we rationalize and hope for some explanation to turn the situation around? Why do we ignore our instincts? We know the answer to the question. Yet when it is not the answer we want, or think we want, we ignore it and tell ourselves that we can change his mind. As if that would reverse what has already transpired.
Our attachment leads us to believe we need this person, when in reality we just want them.
Differentiating needs over wants is easier said than done. The concept seems simple but when we act on feelings alone, we are not thinking consciously. We are exploiting an unconscious impression. Why do we allow the feelings of a single person determine our mood?
If someone doesn’t like you, they don’t like you. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn’t like you? Don’t let the frustration or fear of being alone dictate your behavior.
If someone isn’t into you, you don’t want them.
Don’t second guess yourself. Don’t sit there wondering if you should text, play hard to get or overanalyze every interaction you’ve had with this person thus far. Fuck that.
If you want to text him, then go ahead and text him. If you want to see him, then make an effort to see him. If you want to hang out, then make plans to hang out. You’re a big girl. Maybe he won’t answer your text. Maybe he won’t make an effort to see you. Perhaps he won’t follow through to hang out. Guess what? That is okay. If this happens, then he doesn’t like you.
He doesn’t like you, so you have no reason to like him. Sure, you may initially feel disappointed and let down. It fucking sucks. I get it. But guess what? If he felt differently, you would know, trust me. You already know the answer. Accept it and move on, for you.
Relationships are a two-way street. If you’re in it alone, you don’t stand a chance. Relationships are hard enough when both people are in it. People are different and that is okay. Give yourself more credit, you don’t deserve average or mediocre. Think before you act and use your head. Let your heart weigh in, but don’t act solely on emotion and initial reactions.
So this person just isn’t that into you, so what? Have you ever had someone like you and you just had no interest in them? I guarantee the answer is yes. Whether it was due to lack of physical attraction, prior judgment, or the wrong time, you didn’t like them. You didn’t like them.
You deserve to be on the same page with someone. You deserve a teammate. You deserve someone that has your back. Underneath it all, you deserve a friend. A true and honest friend that is undeniably supportive. This serves as a base to a real relationship. I’m not talking about those people that cheat on each other, talk about how miserable they are with their significant other, or the ones that just can’t ever be alone. I am talking about the people that are in a relationship because they have found someone that matters. They have found someone worth fighting for. We all deserve that, each and every one of us.
We deserve to be someone’s unquestionable first choice. If you aren’t their first choice, then why would you want to be with them? You don’t.
Don’t sell yourself short. You shouldn’t have to convince someone to like you. That’s not how it works. That’s not how it is supposed to work. Don’t allow yourself to be consumed with the shitty feeling of disappointment.
You want to be someone’s first choice and you want them to be your first choice.