19 Women Talk About The Surprising Sexual Fantasies They Would Never, Ever Tell Their Boyfriends About

The unfortunate part of female sexuality in 2014 is that we’re encouraged to have healthy sex drives, but it’s still not easy to be open about it because you never know who will still shame you for it. I’ve personally experienced opening up to my boyfriend about a fantasy I had about him and another man and we later broke up because he said he could never look at me the same way again. So, I got together with a few of my girlfriends (and we consulted with a bunch of others) to bring to light common female sexual fantasies we ALL experience, even if we choose not to bring them up to our partners.


Having him finish on my face.

“I see it in videos and imagine it’d be really hot, but I’m too reserved to request it and my boyfriend isn’t the type to ask if he can do something like that.”

Rape fantasy.

“I would never tell my boyfriend this because it’s so uncomfortable, but sometimes when I’m touching myself I think about him taking me by force. Like if I said no and he kept going any way because he’s so confident that I want him and find him sexy. It would be really fun to role play, but I couldn’t handle my embarrassment if he thought I was a freak for getting off on what is for many a very tragic thing.”

Having a threesome with another woman, but having all the attention on me.

“I feel like if I told my boyfriend that we should have a threesome, he’d be so into the other woman that I’d be totally fucked (but not in a good way). I wouldn’t know how to say that I want a threesome, but I want all the attention to be focused on me. However, the idea of a man and a woman making it their chief responsibility to pleasure me, oh my god, I’m honestly getting wet just thinking about it.”

Being dominated.

“Almost all my relationships are somewhat traditional in the gender roles sense, but I’ve never expressed to a guy how much I truly want him to dominate me. Like, I want him to do whatever he wants with me. It turns me on so much when my boyfriend even hints at this — I’m like yes! Take control! I want him to be so into sex that he doesn’t think about being gentle and kind, he just gives in to his animal impulse.”

Having a threesome with another man.

“Having sex while giving a blow job ranks up there as my absolute top, top, top fantasy. But, I never say anything to a guy I’m dating because I don’t think they’d be into it or I feel dirty for even wanting it, but all my fantasies when I masturbate are of two men at a time in the kinkiest way possible. Even writing that makes me embarrassed!”

Having their boyfriend watch them with another man.

“I don’t know, maybe because I’m really into voyeurism, having my boyfriend watch me with someone else is the biggest turn on. But I for sure think my boyfriend would be really freaked out if I told him this. I think guys are just less into this kind of situation, but maybe I’m wrong? It would be awesome if I was wrong, because this is all I get off on at this point.”

Having sex alone with a woman.

“I’m in a committed relationship, but my fantasy is to explore a woman alone. I watch girl on girl porn, but it’s definitely not enough to satisfy my desire to be with a woman. I just feel like a woman would know exactly where to touch because she knows what turns her on. But, how could I ever tell my boyfriend that I want to pretty much cheat on him… and with a WOMAN?”

Being taken advantage of.

“I know it’s not PC but if a guy ever like… requested I sleep with him to get a job or like, a guy in a power position tried to take advantage of me… it’s a pretty big turn on. I like the idea of not being in control like that.”

Swing with another couple.

“Maybe this is a normal thing with some couples, but I know my husband would be so not into this. I am almost to the point that I want to do this so bad that I will risk my marriage falling apart by saying what I want. If my husband isn’t into it, I guess I’ll have to find someone else that will be into it. I know that sounds bad, but I only live once!”

Public sex.

“My husband is super conservative and proper. His industry is that way — I even got rid of my Twitter because it made him nervous. I could never tell him that what I’m dying to try is having sex somewhere semi-public. The idea of people watching us or potentially getting caught is such a turn on. I’m considering getting him to have sex with me over his lunch break and scheduling some kind of utility or repair person to come over and “totally forgetting” about it.”

Seeing their boyfriend with another man.

“All I want to see is a hot guy going down on my boyfriend. This is all I want in this life!! I’m never going to get it, because I’m way too much of a pussy to ever tell anyone except some randoms on the internet.”

Dominating a man.

“A weak guy is never sexy in my book, I hate ones that roll over when I tell them to do something. But occasionally I do this in bed, I grab a guy’s hair and pull his head down to my pussy — and he just submits to me and it’s so freaking hot. I feel like I am a sex goddess and I’m so hot that he’ll do anything I want.”

Having an affair, Diane Lane style.

“Elicit, off-limits sex with a person I’m not supposed to be with? Fucking hottest thing ever.”

Being with a much, much younger man, like almost underage and teaching him about how to please a woman.

“As I get closer to 30 I’m trying to get the last few things off my “hit list” and obviously they all have to do with things I don’t think I’ll get to do after I settle down with a guy. One of them was being with a much older man, which I did, but I also want to be with a guy who is like 19 and (probably) clueless and just very excited to be having sex. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 22 so I’ve never been with someone that’s very new to it.”


“I was thinking the other day that I should leave open a porn video of a girl squirting so that my boyfriend would get the hint. It just feels so weird to have to tell him that I want this. Who wouldn’t want to squirt? At this point, I would send my boyfriend to squirting lessons so he can do this for me.”


“Have you ever seen the episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte’s boyfriend wants her to do anal? It’s honestly exactly like real life. It’s something I’m curious to try but like she says, ‘you don’t marry the butt girl.’”

Punishment sex.

“I don’t know why this is the biggest turn on for me, but I want to be in pain. Spanked till I’m so red I can’t walk. Scratching until my blood is drawn. I’ve had this fantasy since I was young and have never had it fulfilled because it freaks me the fuck out that I even like this shit.”

Older men.

“I’m really into somewhat older men. Not like, 70s, 80s, but a rusted, weathered looking father is so attractive to me. It just makes me curious because surely they’ve had enough experience to show me things I hadn’t previously seen or felt.”

Having an anonymous encounter with someone and never knowing their name, just pure sex no strings attached for real.

“For obvious reasons, I couldn’t tell my boyfriend about this fantasy, but fuck, if we ever break up, I am doing this immediately because, since being in a long-term relationship and not having sexual freedom, this is all I think about. Just meeting some random person and fucking until we are both spent and then never even exchanging names. God, that’s so hot.”Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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Alexis Caputo

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