Thought Catalog
April 21, 2017

Date Someone Who Changes All The Standards You Thought You Had

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@thechasekennedy

Don’t we all just want the best for ourselves?

We push ourselves to try hard to get that dream job, we work our butts off to make money to support ourselves, we try our best to make the right decisions in life, we make time for our loved ones, and attempt to be just be overall good people.

So shouldn’t we apply the high standards we hold ourselves to, to the people we date as well?

Maybe you’ve been dating fuckboys for too long or maybe you close yourself off to any potential positive relationship because you’re afraid of being hurt again. No matter the circumstance, finding a good person is hard. I must say, my expectations and standards for dating have been slim lately and my taste in guys is far from perfect. I was way too used to being ignored, mistreated and used like it was acceptable behavior. It was because I did not know anything different. I thought, “Oh this must be how guys my age are.”

People nowadays are way too accustomed to being ghosted, cheated on, or not being made the priority they should be. But that shouldn’t be “the norm” we expect.

We should not only want but DEMAND better in our relationships.

After meeting countless boys who just flat out do not know how to treat girls all throughout high school and college I thought I’d just about given up. Maybe there just weren’t that good of guys out there anymore. And maybe a lot of people nowadays are just too selfish to think about someone other than themselves in a relationship.

But then I look at some of my friends and family members who have found great people and are in such encouraging loving relationships and I realized I should, actually everybody should, be expecting more from their significant other. We shouldn’t just accept if a guy is treating us poorly.

Date someone who makes you rethink all of the other ideas on relationships you had in your head.

It’s not until we meet a genuinely good person for us that we realize the standards we had all along for guys were just not good. You won’t have to make ANY excuses for the right guy and you’ll realize all of the excuses you did make for others in the past were bullshit.

There is no reason to be sitting up until 2 am waiting for a call or text from your boyfriend. Your guy should make you a priority in his life. Sure, we all have busy lives but this person should still always put your feelings into consideration and should never make you feel unappreciated or like they never have time for you.

If you aren’t on his list of top priorities then you should take him off yours too.

This person should want to call and text you back. They should want to make you smile every day. They should want to treat you to things for no reason. And most importantly, they should treat you (as well as your family and friends) with respect.

These standards should be the real dating norm.

So don’t be afraid or push away someone who treats you the right way because of your past. Despite prior experience, good guys do exist. They may seem far and few between but they are there. After all, if you used to love and stand up for someone who didn’t give you what you deserve, imagine what you will feel for the guy who does. TC mark