Who do you cry to when everyone is used to seeing you smile and they have never seen you shed a tear?
They might not understand, they might not get it, they might tell you to be strong and hold yourself together but they don’t know that the tears of someone who does not usually cry flow like a river and they don’t know that it takes much more than just a few comforting words to stop them. How do you expect someone to hold you when they’re used to being held?
Who do you lean on in your times of weakness when everyone counts on your strength to get them through?
They might repeat the same encouraging words you tell them, they might ask you to read the same books you recommended and they might not even think it’s a big deal because they think you will get through it quickly and smoothly. But who can understand that when the person who’s been holding on for so long falls apart, they don’t fall slowly, they don’t fall in pieces, instead; they collapse. They disappear.
Who do you talk to when you feel hopeless when you’re used to being the sound of hope and optimism?
How do you tell people that you don’t feel like being positive and happy and cheerful today, how do you tell people that you have days when you don’t practice what you preach and how can they understand that when you give someone else hope, you’re secretly giving it to yourself because you still don’t know how or where to find it.
Where do you go when you want to run away from the voices in your head?
Do you sit in silence so you can hear them louder? Or do you go where the noise is so you can disturb them? How can you use your mind when it’s misleading and confused? And how can you be logical when your mind is insane? How can you explain your thoughts to anyone if you can’t even understand them?
Where do you go when you no longer want to follow your heart?
Who will you go to for guidance and advice? Who will you go to for signs and directions? How do you control the one thing you have no control over? How do you learn to ignore the one thing that moves you? How do you kill the one thing that makes you feel alive? How can the one thing that gives you so much joy also give you so much misery?
Who do you run to when the one you really want to run to is running away from you?
Who do you run to when you want to run away from yourself?