Being in a relationship can be a wonderful thing. You and your significant other care immensely for each other, support each other, and basically are two peas in a pod. But with every relationship comes obstacles and challenges, and we don’t always know how to deal with them. Heed the next 5 tasks and you might find yourself discovering a new perspective on your relationship.
1. Don’t micromanage.
Micromanaging yourself may be working for you, but for others it can be overwhelming, then suffocating. It’s natural to subconsciously start doing this because you care so much for your significant other. You want the best for him or her, and sometimes what you might think is the best just isn’t their best. Let your SO have his/her freedom and the room to do what they want and make their own decisions. Let go of the little things that might annoy you if it’s not big enough of a deal to make a fuss about, because nobody’s perfect, yourself included. If you wouldn’t want him/her to do it to you, don’t do it to them.
2. Find separate hobbies.
Of course you can have things you guys love to do together, but you are two individual human beings. Before you had each other, there were things that you did that perhaps you don’t do as much anymore. Find those hobbies again, whether it’s knitting, watching your own shows, having a day outing by yourself, or going to a museum. Independence is just as important as your codependence with your SO. As much as he or she makes you happy, don’t forget about making yourself happy. They are allowed to happen simultaneously.
3. Don’t stop trying new things.
Whether it’s separately or together, always try some new things. Schedule a hangout with your coworkers you always smile and nod to in passing but have only spoken to once. Sign up for a salsa dancing class with your friends. Go to a community event being hosted in your city. It’s easy to get comfortable in your little bubble of 2, and the world is passing you by on the outside. This isn’t to say that being comfortable isn’t good, but no one likes being too comfortable for too long. It’s true. Things will always be happening, but if you don’t pursue them, you’ll never know what you’re missing out on.
4. Still have your own life.
You have a new life with your SO which is amazing, refreshing, and fulfilling. That’s great. That doesn’t mean that your life has become one with his/hers. You still have your own life, a part that you don’t share with your SO, a place where you can exhibit your guilty pleasures freely (not that your SO would judge you). It’s healthy to have time to yourself, to do the things that you like doing alone, and it’s healthy for him/her to have all of that too. It’s the best of both worlds, really. So why don’t we all take advantage of that?
5. Take care of yourself.
This means your physical, emotional, and mental health. If you haven’t noticed, most of these tasks emphasize the importance of independence and the self. Sure, your SO is there to support you and to help you with taking care of yourself in those ways, but what about when he/she isn’t there? Your SO is meant to be your partner in life and to enhance the quality of your life through co-inhabitance, not through dependence. Don’t ever depend on someone else to make you happy. You have control over every thing that you do. If you are unhappy, you’re allowing yourself to be unhappy. Make sure to be attentive to what your body and what your mind needs. If they need a fantastic meal, some great laughs, and interesting reads, then give those things to yourself. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself. If you’re happy, your SO is happy.