Thought Catalog
March 27, 2014

9 Lies Girls Tell (And What They Really Mean)

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What is the issue?
Disclaimer: This is no way indicative of what every single girl means when she says these things.
Inside Amy Schumer
Inside Amy Schumer

1. “I normally NEVER do this.”

Reality: Ive done this so many times its shameful. However, I dont want you to know that this is something I do so Im trying to convince you that this is a special occasion.

2. “This is my natural hair color.”

Reality: Ive dyed my hair so many times, I think this MIGHT be my natural color, but at this point, only God knows what it actually is. Plus, I wish this was my natural color, so well just go with that.

3. “I really hate drama.”

Reality: Drama is the source of life. I dont usually like when Im personally involved in it, but its a secret guilty pleasure. But I do absolutely love watching other peoples drama unfold.

4. “This selfie I took is totally unedited. Also, Im not wearing any makeup. #aunaturale”

Reality: I may not have edited it, but I tediously worked towards finding the best possible lighting and the best possible angle to take the photo. And when I say I dont have makeup on, I really DO have makeup on, its just not as much as I normally wear. Please please please comment and tell me how naturally beautiful I am.

5. “I dont want a boyfriend. Im so over dating.” 

Reality: I dont want HIM as a boyfriend. But Id jump on the relationship train so fast for the perfect guy. And Im desperately trying to come off as NOT desperate.

6. “Im not like other girls. I swear.”

Reality: I really just think Im way better than other girls so this is my way of telling the world how different and unique I am. I need to put other girls down in order to validate my own superiority.

7. Im SO down to earth. 

Reality: Im seeking the approval of the male population and also desperately seeking a relationship. Im also making an attempt to come off as not trying too hard. I dont want guys to see me as vain, superficial, and dramatic.

8. I LOVE the outdoors. 

Reality: I know YOU like the outdoors and saying this makes me seem really active. It also hides the fact that Im in a long term relationship with Netflix and pizza and makes it seem like I have a ton of hobbies.

9. I barely even use Facebook/Twitter/Instagram

Reality: I would actually die without social media. Theres also a 99% chance Ive stalked every detail about you that I could find on your pages. TC mark