15 Text Messages You Wish You’d Get

Oct. 30, 2012
Gaby Dunn is a writer, journalist and comedian in New York City. She is an editor at Thought Catalog and a ...

1. Hey, I’m sorry about that effed up thing I did a zillion years ago. It really was all my fault. – Former friend

2. Hi, sweetie! For no reason at all, we’re putting a bunch of money in your bank account. Go wild! – Your parents

3. Ur right. I treated you terribly & acted like a total dick. Can I make it up to u? – Your ex

4. Get down here! A beer truck exploded and there’s free beer sprouting up into the streets like Old Faithful. BYO cup! – Your friend

5. Hey class! Mass text to let you know the final is cancelled. You all get A’s for showing up because showing up is 99 percent of the work. Have a great break! – Your professor

6. Saw this funny sign and thought of you! [embedded photo]. Free at all this week for coffee? – Your crush

7. Just wanted to let you know I’m wicked gay now and that’s why we didn’t work out. Nothing to do with you! Sorry! SUPER GAY. – Person who rejected you for no understandable reason

8. Not so good. My boyfriend broke up with me and my house burned down and I got fired and my cat ran away and I have a paper cut on my tongue! How r U? – Your enemy

9. Hey! I’m downstairs with pizza! Can I come up? – A hottie you know

10. Hi, you don’t know me but I found your wallet and keys that you lost while drunk last night. Everything’s intact. Can I bring it to you? – Your savior

11. Hey, i had a great time ;) – Person you’re really into after a date

12. I’m out shopping. I got you the new Modern Warfare. Also, which did you say you liked better — the sexy nurse or the schoolgirl? – Your girlfriend

13. Hey! Not only aren’t I going to be late or bail on you at the last minute, but I’m here early for once in my freaking life – Your friend who ALWAYS bails

14. Bank of America Alert: YOU HAVE SO MUCH MONEY WHERE DID ALL THIS MONEY COME FROM? HOORAY! – Bank of America

15. You up? – Ryan Gosling TC Mark

image – littleny
Gaby Dunn

Gaby Dunn

Gaby Dunn is a writer, journalist and comedian in New York City. She is an editor at Thought Catalog and a …

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