Thought Catalog
May 6, 2014

46 People On ‘The One Flaw That Made It The Hardest To Accept My Significant Other’

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What is the issue?
Compiled from AskReddit.
►►haley
►►haley

Leaving the cabinet doors open

She just cannot seem to put the lid back on anything! Drives me insane. Milk, nail polish, you name it. I can’t tell you how many things I’ve spilled. It used to cause a lot of arguments but I eventually accepted that, no matter how many times I mention it, she is set in her ways.
Also, she doesn’t close the cabinet doors. woke up one morning thinking there was a bowl, plate, and cookware thief in town.

She’s expecting an invasion

She leaves cups of water all around the house like the movie signs was the most influential thing in her life.

One of those people…

She thinks I’m a mind reader.

At least once a day she will suddenly start talking about something she has been thinking about for the past 5 minutes expecting me to be up to speed on whatever issue

Delusional

She has the worst confirmation bias ever (at least I think that fits best).

I can do all the dishes Monday – Thursday. But if she does the dishes on Friday, then on Saturday morning she’ll say “I always do the dishes.”

Inability to win cover battle

He’s stronger and will always win when stealing the covers.

Location

That she’s French and that her career does not transfer to the U.S.. So I’ve been stuck in France for the last five years. I have not assimilated well here. I want to go home so badly. Not sure I’ll ever be able to.

Uh oh

Her favorite artist is Pitbull.

Long talker

She thinks every story she tells, regardless of how mundane, must include every detail possible, particularly the back-stories of the people in the stories.

He killed the music in me

He doesn’t like when I sing in the car. The first time he told me to stop, my heart kind of twisted. I realize it’s not a huge deal, but a little sad nonetheless.

She was wealthy, I wasn’t

As I recall, the biggest rift was how tight she was with her family. She was Jewish, and her family had her back in every conceivable way. She started her own business, never really turned a profit, and that was okay because she had $xxx,xxx in the bank. Meanwhile I was somewhat content with my job, but wasn’t willing to leave it to go back to school or “improve myself” in some major, fundamental way. I was 21 and totally on my own, and clung to the job I had.

In retrospect, I could have totally moved in with her and had her family help me. But instead I didn’t do much other than survive and she broke up with me because I wasn’t going somewhere. Probably one of the bigger “oops” moments of my life, honestly. But, if I had gone that route, I would have been totally entangled with her family.

She makes me get ready for no reason

She doesn’t understand that I can get ready to go out very quickly. She will be rushing around getting ready, and I’m just sitting on the sofa waiting for her. She will come over to me and say something like, “We are leaving soon get ready.” I stand up, grab my keys, my wallet, and my phone, which are all in the same place, and finally put my shoes on. Then I say, “Okay babe, I’m ready let’s go.” She looks at me, and is like, “I’m not ready yet.” I then tell her to come get me when she is ready.

She has no common sense

Shes incredibly smart but has absolutely no common sense what so ever. I try help her study and I cant read the majority of whats in her class books it gives me nose bleeds. Yet the other day we were at the beach when the tide was out and she couldnt understand that if we stood in the same spot as the tide was coming in that we would get wet/drown. She just couldnt grasp the idea of that and was walking about the same area asking if it was the same if we stood here there everywhere. Other than that shes pretty awesome.

She’s depressed

That she is depressed, and there is nothing I can do about it directly.

I’m an engineer, and my mentality to the world is: is something broken? Fix it! It caused some conflict in our early relationship. She felt guilty because I was subconsciously treating her as a broken item. I’ve grown to accept that depression is, and will always be, a part of her somewhere, and there is nothing I can do about that by myself.

But I love that woman so damn much, so I will always be there to help and love her as much as I possibly can.

He’s much older

His age. Knowing if we both get to live full complete lives I will spend 30 years of it without him.

Gross

The farting. So much farting. It’s unbelievable how much gas one human being can generate.

No, wait. That’s what my wife had to accept about me.

She always finds something to dislike

That she will always make me feel bad about myself in some way. It always starts out subtly and then by the end of the week or month it’s always getting brought up almost every time we see each other. Even if I work hard at what she says and feel accomplished, she will always find something.

What a psycho

She pours her milk before her cereal.

Cheese hater

He doesn’t like cheese and will never watch my favorite shows. I love to cook for him, but having every meal be without cheese is like the seasons with no summer. Like rock n roll without a drummer.

Eats like a whiny toddler

My SO doesn’t like vegetables or seafood. He eats carrots but that’s about it. Other than that it’s meat, cheese and starch. The worst part is that he’s not even really willing to try things. I’m the type of person that tried everything put in front of me. I’ll try it more than once too. I didn’t like olives as a kid but if I hadn’t tried them a bunch of times as an adult I would have never realized how delicious they are to me now.

It’s really frustrating to cook for him. I want to travel and try crazy new things but I feel like we’ll always be hindered slightly…..

Autism

My partner has Autism Spectrum Disorder. The lack of empathy was hard in the beginning, he has a hard time understanding why anyone thinks differently to him.

We don’t like the same sex stuff

That our sexual tastes are diametrically opposed and we have incompatible needs in that department.

Make sure you and your lover enjoy the same kind of sexual self-expression, kids. It’s a pretty important part of life.

Ah well. As for me, I suppose there’s still time for a midlife crisis. That might fit the bill.

We don’t have the same religion

That no matter how wonderful and perfect she is, my highly religious dad will never be entirely happy with her because I chose someone outside our religion. He respects our relationship, he respects that I can make my own choices and I love him, but I’m still having trouble accepting that he will always be a little disappointed with her.

We are getting married in October.

She loves stress and drama

She has the need to find something wrong with anything in her life…it’s either work or feeling sick, sometimes is body aches or just the smallest thing to stress about like grocery shopping (no joke)… There’s always something man..

He’s a taker

That he doesn’t like giving oral.

I just can’t accept that he loves me

That he really loves me for me and will not leave me. I have been battling an eating disorder for over 8 years. I always thought people liked me because of how I looked and if I gained weight no one would love me.

It took a really long time to finally accept that my SO loves who I am, not just what I look like.

She’s a nag

Oh lord does this woman of mine love to nag at me. I’m convinced she has a bell in her brain that goes off the second it senses I’m sitting down and relaxing somewhere.

No. I’m not lazy. I just don’t do things the very second they’re demanded of me.

She’s black and I’m not

That she is black. Which is fine, I like her dark skin. But it’s different and something I’m not used to. Also, people sometimes give us looks in public. A lot of black guys will eye ball her really hard in public because I guess they assume there is no way we are possibly actually dating. I just kiss her on the face and keep walking.

She’ll never be perfect

That she will never live up to my unrealistic expectations.

Someone once told me, “Once you stop trying to expect from others what they can’t give, you can begin to love them for who they are”.

He’s okay being angry

That he’s totally fine going to bed angry. We rarely argue, but when we do he sleeps with his back to me and I just want him to hold me. It sucks.

WTF

She keeps ketchup in the pantry after opening.

The power struggle over ketchup storage raged for our entire first year of marriage. I don’t think I have to tell you who won that battle …

**eats hot ketchup and sobs**

She’s in debt

Her mountain of college debt, and her lack of being a doctor or lawyer that is capable of paying it off alone.

God damn it

She doesn’t believe the moon landing was real… I learned this 4 years into dating and it drives me insane

He’s not smart

He didn’t know who Anne Frank was.

He isn’t very book smart, essentially. While he is wonderful to talk to about almost everything, sometimes I’d just love to sit and talk politics or about a really great new book that just came out. It’s not like he’s lacked the opportunities to get an education or anything like that, he just doesn’t care about things like that.

She doesn’t respect people

That she will never be on time for anything. I can’t even use that trick where I tell her we have to be there a half hour earlier than we actually have to be there: she’s okay with being half an hour late. If I tell her we have to be there an hour earlier she will totally detect bullcrap, and will move slower as retaliation. When we’re visiting her family or friends I cultivate a chill attitude where it doesn’t matter how late we are, screw those guys. And if we’re visiting my family or friends, or God help us, the airport, I basically lean over her shoulder the entire time like a drill sergeant.

He’s trans

It was more in the beginning of our relationship, but the fact that he’s pre-op transgender. Don’t get me wrong, we were great friends beforehand, but I never ever would have imagined being with someone who technically has the same body set-up as myself. It took a few months for me to get used to it, but I fell for the person underneath the skin, and it’s kept us going strong for well over two years now :)

She is going to die

My wife has bad kidney disease. She may not live to be old. I heavily debated this fact when we were dating as to whether or not I should pursue the relationship when I knew there could be a lot of pain and suffering not so long in the future. However, I reasoned that we all die eventually, and being happy with someone I loved would be worth it. I don’t take a day for granted. I run extreme long distance races to raise money for the foundation that is searching for a treatment of her disease. I guess that it doesn’t matter how long we are here, but how we spend that time on earth that really matters. That was the hardest part to accept, for me.

Penis envy

I hate that his dick is bigger then mine.

That she’s overweight

That she, wife now, gained all 75 lbs of weight again :-(

She has nipple rings

I hate them. It’s like somebody hands you a pizza and you think FUCK YEAH I LOVE PIZZA! PIZZA IS FUCKING AWESOME!!! but then you open the box and one of the toppings is ball bearings. And you can’t pick them off.

Long hair

Hair. Here a hair there a hair, everywhere a hair hair.

She relies on others

That she can only be happy via the validation of others and has no idea how to be happy otherwise, regardless of our wonderful daughter, her stable job, and her doing well in school.

If someone is constantly telling her how amazing she is, she turns into a complete cunt and treats everyone around her with disdain including her daughter. Once I get the money together I’m going to fight for custody.

Willful ignorance

He doesn’t believe in evolution. I’m fairly religious myself, but there are some things like evolution for example where the science is there. You have to be so willfully ignorant to not see that. When he said he doesn’t believe in evolution, I really had to think a lot. It’s not just evolution that bothers me, it’s the fact that if he’s so willfully ignorant about that, what other things is he willfully ignorant about? Like how much of a bitch his sister is to me. But I’ve accepted it, and we are getting married in June :)

Teeth scraping (not that kind)

I love her more than life itself. Been with her for twenty years. But she fucking scrapes her teeth with her fork when she eats. It takes every ounce of self control to resist jumping across the table and stabbing her in the eyes with that fork.

She likes to be negative

That she brings me down. It’s terribly unfortunate, but she just has so much resentment and pain that she brings everywhere with her. I matured very early in life and went through my “growing pains” at an early age, so i’m at a stage where I just want to be happy. Everything is going so well for me personally, but there is always a headache to be had with her around.

He’s not close with his family

He’s not close to his family. A little apathetic I guess, he is very caring and loving towards me though. We’ve been dating for nearly four years and I still haven’t met his mum. They had previous issues, and I am willing to wait as long, or even never meet her unless my partner feels comfortable enough to go ahead with the idea.

I’ll always be more successful than him

After having the southern standard of having the man be the main bread winner beaten into my brain, I had to accept that my boyfriend is never going back to school and I will always be the one that funds our life. TC mark

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