7 Things To Tell Yourself When You Feel Bad About Being Single
It only takes one
Relationships sneak up on you. People sneak up on you. It’s the guy you meet and instantly hit it off with, or the girl that you’ve known forever that you suddenly see in a new light. It doesn’t matter how many people reject you or how many crappy first dates you go on because you don’t need all those people to like you, you only need the right person to like you.
Your friends in relationships are unhappy
There’s good and bad parts of every relationship but as a small consolation to single people, they get to be an impartial observer of a lot of people’s fucked up relationships. Fighting in public, power struggles, sex droughts–these things are comfort to people on the outside looking in, who need your relationship to not look quite so tempting and unattainable.
The best is yet to come
Being single is like being at the beginning of the story, even if the story ends with you still being alone. When you are married you’ve reached the end of the story, at least in our faulty cultural understanding of how your life is supposed to work. When you are single, anything can happen. Your life can turn in a million directions. Married people have shut doors that are still open to you.
You are the most important person in your life
When you have an important decision to make, you consider your wants and needs and then act. You don’t need to consult another person and ask for their approval or consider how your success or failures will hurt them. You have freedom and mobility.
Your life is a romantic comedy
Everyone is a potential crush, so you can flirt with them all. I personally consider flirting to be one of the most fun activities of being alive. It makes you feel good, it makes the other person feel desirable and cool, it’s a win win. And it’s awesome.
Being single doesn’t mean you are a loser
There’s some seriously ugly people in relationships. People with terrible personalities can always find someone to put up with them. Death row inmates find love. So, it’s probably not the case that you’re uglier, dumber, and more annoying than everyone else in the world. The simpler (and more likely to be correct) solution is that it has nothing to do with these factors. You’re just single because you haven’t met them, yet.
You are becoming a better person
When you are working towards a goal, like being single and wanting to be in a relationship, you need to make changes in order to get closer to your goal. So, you are becoming a better person while you are single. Of course you’ll want to continue that same drive when you’re coupled, but part of commitment is loving someone at their worst–while courtship is about presenting and being your best. Granted it’s because you have to be, but when you’re single, you’re on top of your game.
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5. To you, your little brother is always going to be your little brother.
I still tear up way more than I ever have, and am learning to accept that as a part of me. I’m trying to embrace tears as a visceral human reaction to life, not as a sign of weakness or cause for embarrassment.
“Sorry, but we don’t have a larger size than that.”
You are never going to be the most popular girl in high school, but that’s okay, because the friends you’ve made will be of better quality than any of the ones you wanted to be friends with.