Not texting creepy guys back who don’t take no for an answer.
I am that person, in another body. I am that need to reach out, that burning desire to say hello, and to start another conversation – to get more of you.
I ask only that you scale back a tiny bit on all of your many (hard-earned!) media projects to, if nothing else, spend more time getting sleep and seeing loved ones.
Who hasn’t had a friend who, despite being a smart, funny, beautiful woman (because I’m being heteronormative here), chooses to date a guy who is just an utter bummer?
You may have your business model and sales numbers down by heart, but do you know your own soul? Nothing will help you figure it out more than your preference in Shark Tank judges.
1. A lot of city dog owners are… weird as shit.
“Umm,” started a recent anonymous message I received on Tumblr, which is never a good beginning for anything. “It’s kind of obnoxious that you alternate between skinny outfit pictures and fat food pictures on Instagram. We get it, you can eat whatever you want.”
Spend time apart. Like, a lot of time.
Pick sexy his and hers Halloween costumes. Sure, it’s always fun to go as things like a plug and an outlet, or Teletubbies, or other unsexy, foam-based things.
1. Carrie And Big. Let’s start with the big (ahahaha) couple here, because they are obviously the tedious and vaguely-emotionally-abusive stars of the show.