The other day, my friend and I were talking about the strange, dare I say extremely white phenomenon of sending multi-thousand-word updates about your life/family/travels/children via email.
1. Message dozens of girls on dating sites with the exact same opening message in an attempt to start conversation. Do your hands not feel dirty hitting copy + paste a hundred times on the same corny pickup line?
Some people are disgusted by egg salad, and those people are wrong. Its sulfury goodness is half the appeal. Egg salad is wonderful.
Navigating bathroom use is an awkward and inevitable thing. Eventually they will be aware of the fact that you’re doing a number two, and it’s up to you to decide how far you’re willing to go in the interest of preserving the mystery.
When you hear the dichotomy of “career vs relationship,” the normal assumption is that good, thoughtful people with the right value systems will always choose the latter. After all, a promotion can’t hold you at night, and you can’t raise children with a 401k.
Meet her at the bar 15 minutes late, and make sure to emphasize three times in your explanation how busy you are right now, because things are slammed at work.
Not texting creepy guys back who don’t take no for an answer.
I am that person, in another body. I am that need to reach out, that burning desire to say hello, and to start another conversation – to get more of you.
I ask only that you scale back a tiny bit on all of your many (hard-earned!) media projects to, if nothing else, spend more time getting sleep and seeing loved ones.
Who hasn’t had a friend who, despite being a smart, funny, beautiful woman (because I’m being heteronormative here), chooses to date a guy who is just an utter bummer?