19 Signs You Should Break Up With Them
1. Every time you look at them while they’re eating, you find something new to be irritated by. The way they chew, the way they cut their food, how much salt they use — it’s all awful.
2. You find yourself tuning out of what they’re saying on a regular basis, even if you would usually really enjoy talking about the subject.
3. Some of your friends mistakenly think you’re already broken up.
4. You find yourself being attracted to people who are by no means attractive, only because they are not your current significant other and are therefore incredibly sexy. You are mostly turned on by what is new and different and not what you have at this point.
5. When people start asking you questions about the future (especially the future of your relationship), you start to feel vaguely nauseous.
6. On more than one occasion, you have gone through old message exchanges with your exes and become nostalgic for that relationship, even if you absolutely hated them when you broke up and would never want to actually get back with them.
7. “Your song” that you have together now makes you race to turn the stereo off when it comes on.
8. The touches that used to make you melt in bed now make you feel extremely uncomfortable, like your whole body is itching in a sweater you can’t take off.
9. It has been so long since you last had sex that neither of you are really willing to bring up the subject because you both know the discussion is going to be extremely embarrassing and awkward.
10. When you think of your significant other, it’s almost always involuntarily in the past tense. You can’t really think of them as your current flame, because you don’t want to admit that you are still attached to them.
11. You no longer sleep well when you are next to them, and long for the days when you had the entire bed to yourself to stretch out.
12. You have started picking on them about things that you never would have noticed before, and get secretly a bit happy when they seem really angry at you, because in the back of your mind you know that it means they might break up with you themselves.
13. You have become the couple at the restaurant who eats an entire three-course meal in near-silence.
14. The only times you really talk to each other anymore are when you argue, and the kind of arguments that used to be over in a few minutes can now stretch on for days at a time.
15. Kissing grosses you out.
16. You already get a pang of worry thinking about how much you are going to miss them someday, and wondering if you are really going to be able to walk away.
17. On at least one occasion, you have written out an actual Pros and Cons list.
18. Your friends don’t ask you how it’s going anymore, because they know that it’s just going to be a really painful discussion that can’t actually go anywhere because you haven’t worked up the courage to do anything about it.
19. Even before you read this list, you already knew how much of it would apply to you.
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2. Your middle school French teacher.
Depression is a shape-shifting, ever-present monster.
Take a day somewhere between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve when feelings really begin to feel forced, and acknowledge your raw emotions for what they are, both good and bad. Make a toast to your survival.
1. If your child suggests that everyone in his family hates him, don’t reassure him of your love. Instead tell him to wish for a new family.