Thought Catalog
June 25, 2013

8 Unfortunate Signs You’re Unappreciated And Deserving Of Better

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What is the issue?

1. If you don’t point out your redeeming qualities, you feel they’ll go unnoticed. You are a person, not a product – if it feels like you’re constantly giving an infomercial type sales pitch to somebody so they’ll understand your worth, there’s a problem with that connection. The most logical solution is to get out of that situation quickly. Your value will never be more evident to an inappreciative person than through your absence. Perhaps when you’re gone they’ll realize your importance and for their sake, hopefully it’s not too late.

2. The majority of contact is maintained by you. You text first, you call first, you pass along invites, you push to maintain some type of interaction and it begins to feel like you’re a persistent gnat, more bothersome than embraced. It’s easy to remain in denial, pretending that their lack of initiative and endless supply of excuses are legitimate, but at some point you’ve got to recognize a one-sided effort and call a spade a spade.

3. Any length of time apart or with no contact is emotionally painful for you, whereas they are just fine. Absence typically makes the heart grow fonder, not forgetful or content.

4. You’re constantly disappointed by spoken I love you’s that sound so nice to hear, but don’t match their actions in the least bit. One of the most cliché, commonly used statements that still holds so much truth is “actions speak louder than words.” It’s nice to hear how someone feels, but it’s even better to be well aware of it through their actual showings.

5. One of the main reasons you’re still around is for the comfort… Even if it’s uncomfortable. I once had a recliner chair that I relaxed in daily for years and eventually it began to breakdown. Sure, there were small maintenance efforts that recovered it to some degree, but eventually it was irreparable, falling apart in several areas. I got a new recliner that was CLEARLY capable of offering quality seating, but I used the old one because I just felt snug there. I know, relationships aren’t the same as chairs, but for the sake of this metaphor, we have to make sure we’re not remaining in the same creaky, worn, tattered seat only because we’ve grown accustomed to it.

6. You reject the idea of better if it’s coming from elsewhere. There is a mindset people get firmly stuck in and for them, they know they deserve better but don’t care to do anything about it. You want better, but you only want it from that one person. Sure, so-and-so might offer you attention, affection and have tons of potential, but for some reason it’s not enough to pull you away from the lackluster effort of the person you inexplicably want. Turning down others who come with a great deal of hope for mediocrity (or worse), you’re not necessarily doing yourself justice.

7. Them being too busy is a thing that actually comes up. There just isn’t such a thing as “too busy” when it comes to two people who irrefutably want to see each other. Time and sacrifices are made when we actually want something in any aspect of life, relationships with people aren’t immune to that notion.

8. Reading through this has tugged at several emotions and you’re realizing that the shoe fits someone you know all too well. It sucks, but there are times in life that call for you have to put yourself first. This is one of them. You’re the one emotionally at risk and unhappy with your treatment, therefor you must do something to change the situation. TC Mark

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