Thought Catalog
March 12, 2017

You Are A Strong Woman — You Don’t Need Him

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What is the issue?
God and Man

He makes you weak, he has the ability to break you down and make you forget just how strong you are. He makes you lose sight of what you’re capable of and has the power to ruin all the progress you’ve worked so hard on with just a single message lighting up your phone.

You’re trying to be strong, trying to prove to yourself that you don’t need him. You sit around and talk about how much you hate him and how stupid he is while you’re with your friends then turn around and cry into your pillow at night over the pain of missing him. It’s all part of the coping process and you should do whatever you need to to help you get over him.

It’s hard to try to move forward with your life without the person you loved. It’s hard to make the transition from being with your best friend and talking to him every day to being alone in silence. You spend all your time thinking about where you went wrong. You question him and his motives but mostly you blame yourself. You put the blame on yourself for not loving him hard enough, or not loving him better.

But the truth is, he didn’t love you the way he should have. He took your love for granted because he’s selfish. He didn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated and it’s not fair that you’re sick to your stomach over his leaving while he’s still out living his life nearly unaffected.

It’s not fair to you at all.

But you are a strong woman, you fell for a man who didn’t deserve your heart but you gave it to him anyway. Now it’s time to take back what’s yours. It’s time to regain your strength, it’s time to move on without him. It won’t happen overnight, it will take months or maybe even years for you to build yourself back up, but you can.

You will never be able to completely forget him, but you will be able to find happiness again on your own. You will be able to laugh again without feeling a heavy pain in your chest. You will be able to smile again without trying to swallow a giant lump in your throat. You will be able to love again without feeling like you’re missing a part of you, like no one can compare to him.

You are a strong woman and you know that, your confidence just got lost somewhere along the way and now it’s time to work on you and find it again. It’s time to get back to the you before him. It’s time to work on becoming the best person you know you can be and you could never be that person with him because he is restricting.

He never loved you like you deserved, he only made you think that was how love is supposed to feel. But love isn’t controlling and restricting, love isn’t demanding and degrading, love isn’t lying and placing guilt on your significant other. That isn’t love. And you deserve better than that, you always have.

He made you feel weak, like you needed him to feel okay, but you don’t. You will be happier on your own and you will regain your confidence. You just can’t go back to him. You have to break the cycle. You have to be strong without him for your future self.

You just need to remember your strength and realize that you can live without him because you already are. The pain will remain deep for now, but eventually it will subside and you will wake up one morning and he won’t be your first thought. You will realize it’s been a week and you haven’t cried. You will start to find yourself smiling for no reason. You will realize you’ve stopped obsessively checking his every move on social media.

Eventually you will be happy you stopped letting him drag your heart around.

You will get stronger because you are already a strong woman, even on your weakest days. You don’t need him. You really don’t and you’re just starting to realize that now, imagine where you will be in the next couple months.

You can do this, I believe in you. TC mark

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