October 11, 2016

10 Signs You’re Letting Your Relationship Fall Through The Cracks (And How To Pull It Back)

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What is the issue?

1. You barely have sex anymore. You’ve let one of the most important parts of your relationship go. There are no more quickies or morning sex or even sex before bed when you’re watching a movie because now you actually watch the damn movie. Sex should be something you can openly talk about and express your feelings towards so maybe it’s time to have the conversation. If you aren’t comfortable having the conversation start giving signs, start touching and flirting more. Start making it known that you want to have sex, just like you used to. Relight the fire.

2. You pick petty fights. It could be that dinner was a little over cooked and you start a fight over it and when the argument calms down you bring it back up again. This is completely petty and childish, and most likely a reflection of oneself that they aren’t happy with. You’ve got to do a little soul searching and remind yourself that you don’t have to be right all the time. Sometimes it’s just better to let things go. It’s better to be happy than right.

3. You blow money you should be saving. You know you shouldn’t be buying lunch out for the third time this week because you really need to save for a car repair, but you just don’t care. You just want to do what you want to do without thinking of the other person. It’s damaging to your relationship and causing more harm than good by creating more tension and fights. It can be easily avoidable if you just talk about where you’re spending money prior to spending it. I’m not saying you have to check in on every little penny you drop, but at least be conscious and talk to your partner. Being reasonable with money is important and you’ll be thankful in the long run.

4. You don’t kiss hello or goodbye. Or good morning or goodnight or randomly. Your PDA has gone way down to non-existent levels, basically. It doesn’t even have to be in public, but before you leave the house or when you both get home from the day. Kissing is important; it’s sharing intimacy and keeping your love flowing. It only takes a second to kiss your partner goodbye and you should always do it because you never know when something could happen.

5. You don’t take care of your body or your mind. You totally stopped going to the gym or now you just binge eat junk food because you’re “already settled” and now you “just don’t care.” Just because you found yourself in a long-term relationship doesn’t mean that relationship can’t end if you need proof just look at the divorce rate. Don’t stop caring for yourself and completely let yourself go because you deserve more than that and so does your partner. I’m not saying you have to be a fitness model, because you absolutely don’t but at least spend a little time finding a healthy balance in your life between your mental and physical health.

6. You constantly pick on each other and rarely compliment each other. You’re relationship has just turned to constant ragging on each other. It’s usually just jokes after jokes that you claim you’re kidding about, but those jokes can be very hurtful. Instead of throwing out jokes next time how about you try a compliment? If your partner cooked dinner offer to help and tell them it smells good. If your partner got a new outfit tell them they look sexy in it and give them a kiss. It’s just little things that add up to make all the difference.

7. You talk negatively about plans with your partner’s family and friends. You don’t have to like your partner’s friends and family, but they like them so the least you could do is respect them. Don’t bash your partner’s dad even if he is a dick because that’s just going to upset them and cause a fight that doesn’t need to happen. You can have your opinions, but you also need to be respectful.

8. You don’t go on dates, like ever. You can’t even remember the last time the two of you did something on your own together because that would require time and planning. Ditch the plans with friends and just go the two of you to a new restaurant and a movie. Or go stargazing or play laser tag. Do something that the both of you will enjoy, just the two of you. Start making new memories.

9. You don’t flirt. You just have become so comfortable with each other the flirting has disappeared in the conversation about bills and rent and work. You forgot what it feels like to be hit on and that’s something that should never happen. Start using some corny pick-up lines at the very least, but reconnect by flirting with each other. If you flirt like you’re still trying to win them over then you’ll never lose them.

10. You stopped doing the little things. You don’t remember the last time you picked up flowers “just because” or you bought a couples massage “just because.” The little things you used to do and the little notes you used to leave have stopped. Now you’re just walking through each day like a zombie who knows what’s going to happen. It’s time to wake up and start doing the little things again. Grab a Redbox movie on your way home and microwavable popcorn for your Tuesday night. It doesn’t take much, but a little effort can make a huge difference. TC mark

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