Thought Catalog
August 10, 2015

16 Signs You Are Secretly A Jewish Grandmother In A 20-Something Body

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What is the issue?
The Nanny
The Nanny

1. Worrying is your thing. Listen, we all have different strong suits in life. Some people are athletic. Some people are artistic. Some people are naturally charismatic. You…you worry. A lot.

2. No, but seriously. You’re such a chronic overthinker, waking up with anxiety-induced acid reflux AIN’T NO THANG.

3. It’s almost a guarantee that you’ve got snacks on deck. You hear a stomach rumbling and always magically pull out some trail mix from your purse. Because you just never know when someone could use a nosh.

4. You’re always making sure everyone brings a jacket when you go out. Because, HELLO, that’s just common sense!

5. If you’re at a party, you somehow find yourself comforting the way-too-drunk girl in the corner. Rubbing her back as she cries, offering to find the rest of her friends so she can go home, or maybe even giving her a lift yourself. It’s like you’ve got a radar for those lonely souls who need love and affection. And you’re there to provide it! Along with some unsolicited advice, too.

6. But most of the time, you’d just rather stay home. Putting on pants is such a hassle. If there isn’t a stretchy waist band, why even bother?

7. Your couch is basically one big pile of pillows and blankets. What can you say? You’re a woman who enjoys the finer things in life! Like being comfortable.

8. You’re always playing the role of matchmaker in your friend group. “Bobby is such a nice guy! Just give it one date, and if it’s horrible I’ll take you out to brunch. My treat.”

9. When you hear a friend is under the weather, you immediately put together a care package and ask them, “Have you been eating?”

10. In fact, you’re convinced food can fix anything. Broken heart? Food. Got a cold? Food. Thermostat in the house break? Food.

11. Yes, you call your family members regularly. Because if you don’t, they’ll send out a search party. And vice versa if you don’t hear from them.

12. Guilt is your middle name. And it can stem from the littlest thing. You once ate a topping at the frozen yogurt shop before paying for it and felt sick about it for weeks.

13. One of your favorite things about staying at hotels? Taking all those tiny shampoo bottles and other various toiletries back home with you. So compact! So cute!

14. You play your TV far too loudly. “Can you turn it up a little?” is a common thing to escape your lips.

15. You have a hard time getting rid of things. You collect anything with sentimental value. Or that looks cool. You’re like a less Hoarder-(y?) version of The Little Mermaid.

16. You and your girlfriends can talk for HOURS. It’s almost amazing how little ya’ll seem to come up for air. It’s an incessant gab fest, and you know what? You wouldn’t have it any other way. TC mark