Thought Catalog
April 11, 2017

I Am More Than Just An Option

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What is the issue?
Christian Acosta

If there’s one thing you need to know about me, it’s that I demand to be a priority. I don’t want your half love or partial attention. I don’t want to be your back-up plan. And I am not interested in your excuses, in your lies, in your broken promises.

If you really like me, you have to be sure it is only me, and no one else.

You have to prove your loyalty. You have to show me that I am the only one you’re going to love. You have to make me feel like I’m secure. You have to give me enough reasons why I should not worry about you getting involved in another love affair.

I deserve to be more than a second option, more than just an after-thought.

I am not the one you only hang out with just because you have no other choice. I am not your plan B when your plan A doesn’t work. I am not anyone’s replacement, nor anyone’s good-for-the-moment.

I am not someone you only call when you need help, but you ignore when you’re all having fun in your life. I am not someone you run into when you’re angry, and want to complain about the world, but care less when I’m in the same situation.

I do not want you to come after me, pretending and acting like I’m your favorite, only because the person who came before me has disappointed you.

In fact, I’d appreciate it if you leave me alone, rather than drag me to your long list of options. I don’t have the energy and time to play games with you, or with anyone else. I am not interested in silently, patiently waiting for you to make up your mind about me.

Because time is gold to me. Time is important to me. When I fall in love, I want it to be sure, exact, and serious. I don’t want to have moments of doubts, not even a split-second of hesitation, not even a single question in mind.

When you fall in love with me, I want you to make me your number one. I want you to put me on the highest spot on your priority list. I want you to consider my emotions and my feelings when you’re making a decision. I want you to think of me not only when you’re sad, but also when you’re happy.

I demand you to treat me as if I’m the only person in the world, as if I’m the most amazing creature in your eyes. Because I want to be special to you, just the same way that you’re going to be special to me.

I can’t give my entire heart when you’re giving me only part of yours. I need you to commit with me wholeheartedly. I need your 100 percent yes, when I ask you if you want to go steady with me. I need your unwavering honesty all the time.

I am done looking for another relationship to try. I don’t have any intentions in putting myself into something I’m quite unsure of. I don’t like to have more nights crying in my bed, and more days feeling lonely.

I don’t like stupid, dangerous, reckless, childish, unthoughtful, impulsive love anymore.

I want a love that I can keep in my heart until it stops beating. A love that’s going to make me sleep tight at night, because I know that when I wake up in the morning, it’s going to be there. It will always be there. It will always stay.

I want a person who’s going to pick me, and fight for me, no matter what. I deserve someone who’s never going to second-guess about me, about my love, about the future that I can give to them.

I need the one who’s not going to break promises, and cheat, and do disloyal things behind my back.

And I want you to convince me that you can be that person, and you can provide me that kind of love. I want you to take my hand and tell me that it will always be me, you will always choose me. TC mark