What Your Favorite Disney Film Says About You

Whether you are a disciple of all things Pixar, or you cling to the idea that 2D, hand-drawn work will come back in style with so much Luddite desperation, there’s no denying that Disney, in so many ways, shaped who we are today. Watching these movies as kids, and even as adults, we are transported into worlds where things are beautiful, where people are nice, and where even the most tense of situations will neatly wrap up with a cute, happy ending. And your Disney film of choice says more than just what VHS was worn to tatters from merciless overuse when you were eight; it says which 1 hour and 30 minutes contained your tiny little dreams. So put on your Tinkerbell costume (you know you still have it), get out your stuffed Boo doll, and settle in for a little trip down One Day My Prince Will Come Lane.
Oct. 26, 2011

By Chelsea Fagan info

Chelsea is a writer living in Paris.

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Pocahontas: Perhaps the first film that opened your eyes and taught you to hate oppression and ignorance in all its forms, Pocahontas launched you into a lifelong career of being into nature, teaching doe-eyed white men what it means to respect others, and absolutely hating when hipsters wear Native American stuff. Pocahontas taught you all that being strong, proud, and true to yourself means — all while showing a more-than-decent amount of thigh and rebelling against your totally obtuse father. Pocahontas just got it.

Cinderella: It would be a safe bet that you probably have a thing for shoes and — if you took any serious life lessons away from the film — you truly believe that all ugly people are inherently evil. You are also totally down to date a guy who is in no way right for you, but who chance brought you to in too romantic a way to get over. But hey, after so many years of underpaid manual labor (in your case, working at Starbucks, most likely) you’re totally ready for someone who’ll offer you a bit of romance and escapism.

Fantasia: Let’s be honest — you get completely, incomprehensibly stoned and watch the hell out of some Fantasia.

Alice In Wonderland: This crazy, kooky, totally un-mainstream, slightly dark Disney film would kick-start your lifelong love affair with all things Hot Topic, My Chemical Romance, and dressing like Alice herself. The Mad Hatter came to represent so many things that your parents just didn’t understand, the Cheshire Cat had the smile that stayed with you long after the rest of him faded away, and that rabbit was just so avant-garde with his pocket watch. You probably even enjoyed that incredibly lackluster reboot with Johnny Depp.

Sleeping Beauty: I don’t know, I think we can all agree that Aurora (Had to Google that, does anyone really remember that girl’s name?) is by far the lamest Disney Princess. I don’t know what you like if you like her — sleeping in late, being really pretty, and nailing the most boring Prince? I guess? In any case, you’re not doing a whole lot until some guy comes along and validates the hell out of you. I assume you’re the kind of person who puts romantic song lyrics in your statuses and likes pictures of children in wedding outfits kissing. Just a hunch.

Song of the South: LOL, you’re so, so racist.

Peter Pan: You love imagination, hopes, dreams, and charming British children. Also, you may, in retrospect, be offended by the bright red Native Americans. However, no amount of racial stereotyping could ever erase the magic you felt when those little kids went flying around the room in circles. You might have taken the whole “never growing up” thing to heart, and may have a hard time paying rent on time these days. But it’s okay — you have magic in your soul.

Toy Story 3: You love crying. You love crying so, so much. You love crying when Andy plays with his toys with that little girl, or when Woody watches him walk away and looks okay about it. You love crying when they accidentally get thrown away. You love crying when the toys are headed for the incinerator and they finally realize that they’re not going to be able to cleverly hop out of this problem and they all look resigned and brave and hold each others’ hands as they accept their fate, and Mr. Potato Head holds his wife to his chest so she doesn’t… WHAT THE HELL PIXAR.

Ratatouille: I bet — in fact I would bet a lot of money — that you’re the douchebag who posts pictures of every other meal he makes on Facebook with captions like “Oh you know, just a pan-seared filet mignon in a port reduction over a bed of sauteed chanterelle mushrooms and a puree of leeks with a Yukon Gold potato crisp garnish, to be served with that bottle of Bordeaux I’m finally cracking open tonight! Happy Wednesday night everyone!” Either that, or you like Paris.

Holes: You like remembering that, at one point, Shia LaBeaouf was bearable.

Atlantis: You are way, way, way into Steampunk and you were into it way, way, way before it was cool. When you’re not busy looking up corsets made out of leather and copper wiring on Etsy, you’re elaborately pretending that your significant other is Victorian-era nobility before you get down to some serious, nerdy bodice-ripping.

Mulan: You have endless appreciation for Mulan’s way-ahead-of-her-time gender presentation and career path as a woman, and you are totally down with all of the difficult but totally cool choices she makes. You also kind of wanted Shang to get with her even when he still thought she was a guy, let’s be honest.

Hercules: First of all, you have immaculate taste, as Hercules is clearly the funniest Disney movie ever. Non-negotiable. Also, you are so not like those other Princesses who sit around waiting for their hunky, dopey, Don Draper-in-a-cape heroes to come and save them. No. You’re Meg, the Adele of Disney Princesses, the one who has loved and lost and is finally ready to love again. You can show a guy the ropes as a fabulous Greek chorus narrates your struggles, and you can totally part-time as James Wood’s personal assistant.

The Lion King: You are a twenty-something guy. There is a law, somewhere, that states that all 20-something guys must have an extremely tender spot for The Lion King — so tender, in fact, that with enough liquor in their system, you can occasionally get them to burst into a round of “Hakuna Matata.” Can occasionally be substituted in a man’s childhood memories by Aladdin.

Aladdin: The first time you saw Kim Kardashian, you were like “Jasmine came to life!! :D” and then you were like “Oh no, she’s super gross and has sex with Brandy’s brother. :(”

Who Framed Roger Rabbit: Jessica Rabbit was an important — nay, an essential — part of your pubescence.

The Little Mermaid: You would do pretty much anything for this guy you barely know. You’d cut off the lower half of your body and replace it with a new one, you’d tear out your vocal chords, you’d live on land when you ostensibly still have gills. (Did Ursula ever address that?) Your father is a dick, basically, and you are going to do any and everything to make him pay for how oppressive he’s been. If that means marrying the guy he can’t stand (in your case, probably a guy with a neck tattoo who refers to your father as “Man”) then so be it. You’re young, ginger, and in control. You can do what you want.

Part II coming soon. TC mark

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image – Ratatouille

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  • http://www.oneyearintexas.com Perfect Circles

    It’s a trick question – because if you have a favorite Disney film it means you want to infantilize yourself!

  • Guest

    DUMBO FOREVER.

  • Sarah

    I don’t think anyone has a Toy Story 3 VHS tape that’s worn to tatters. 

  • Sophia

    I have a Sleeping Beauty / Peter Pan complex. That’s just unfortunate.

  • sn1990

    Dang, Lion King. You nailed it.

  • Wyw

    fox and the hound

  • Guest

    Where is Beauty and the Beast?!

  • Will

    The Fox and the Hound is probably the reason why I’m so open towards interracial relationships.

  • CS

    The Jungle Book.  No question. (that might make me a racist, oops)

  • Kelcie Moseley

    Mulan ftw!! And yes, you’re right about Shang. Fine.

  • http://twitter.com/kaimcn Kai

    The Little Mermaid for life. Hell yea I’ve got Daddy Issues.

  • lia marie

    WHAT ABOUT SNOW WHITE :(

  • http://twitter.com/EditedbyMUSA Musa

    I absolutely LOVE atlantis but I am a MAN… not really that into corsets lol

  • lilym

    what your favorite disney movie says about chelsea.

  • Jennifer

    All I know is that I definitely enjoyed the animal ones better than the princess ones. And the Nightmare Before Christmas

  • rgar

    I don’t think you got Ratatouille  quite right. It’s my ultimate favorite. I adored it especially because I hadn’t come out of the closet to my family or friends yet and I just felt like Remy’s situation was so. damn. relatable. Ugh. To this day that movie gets  me shedding a man tear every time I watch it.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CXCS7TXFL5TS2LGXRPMARVGOHY Viktor

    The Aristocats pour moi!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001017460733 Prince Rasiel

    WELL excuse me for liking Sleeping Beauty for the freaking dragon battle. -_- Maleficent was the reason I love that film best.

  • Ocaprod

    What about the Black Cauldron? From what I remember, that movie was awesome.

  • Nicholas Cox

    When I read the thing about 20-something guys loving The Lion King I totally felt like Dave Chappelle in this bit here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ4B7G8Rw3Q

  • Dechonmustard

    The Lion King = father & son relationships

    Simba had both of his parents! …for a minute

  • Lnlacoy

    Uhh beauty & the beast?!? We like to read books! Speak French! Understand sacrifice! Aka, belle is my hero

  • Anonymous

     Who Framed Roger Rabbit was not a disney film but I did have a fascination with that movie as a kid. It was when I thought the location in the movie was real and I kept asking grownups what a cartoon feels like when you touch one. I assumed silly putty.  

  • Anonymous

    I’m sorry, I meant Disney had the film rights to it but it was a touchstone picture. 

  • Keisha

    The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh?

  • Guest

    Beauty and the Beast?!?! 

  • http://twitter.com/mung_beans Mung Beans

    HERCULES?  MORE LIKE HUNKULES!  

    amirite

  • http://twitter.com/mung_beans Mung Beans

    also I totally shed a tear in Ratatouille when the mean critic was transported back to his childhood by the delicious food at the end

    is that super lame?  oh well

  • guest

    Uhhh Alice In Wonderland jump started my interest in hallucinogenic drugs, not My Chemical Romance. There are two types of Alice in Wonderland fans, hot topic goth kids and hippie stoners. 

  • Anton

    My favorite disney movie is fist of the north star

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

    And, surprisingly, people who also like strange books.

  • Remo

    HAHA you NAILED Ratatouille fans, I cannot tell you how many people on my news feed do exactly what you described.  I wish Aladdin had a more in-depth analysis though -___-

  • GustavoZ

    Did you read? It says part II coming soon at the end…

  • lys

    eh i was excited to read this but it didn’t go in depth like i’d hoped . you kind of just summarized what happens in the movies or made some lame observation.

    except toy story 3 holy freakin crap i cried so many times. all of those times you mentioned! uuuuugh seriously @ what the heck pixar

  • Guest

    The Black Cauldron is missing.
    HOW WILL I FIND OUT WHAT CHELSEA THINKS MY FAVORITE FILM DEFINES ABOUT ME?

  • Guest

    Where is Cars!!?

  • SciFilia

    What about the Great Mouse Detective!?!

  • Guest

    not Disney

  • Bonnie

    The next one better include Up. Because that is the ultimate fave.

  • http://stillpoints.tumblr.com Enthusiast

    Fantastic writing. <3 you, J.W., too. But, UHH, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST?

    Sheesh, I mean, it's only like the first animated film to be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar.

  • eibeibei

    PREACH. TOOK THE WORDS OUT OF MY MOUTH.

  • Adam

    I agree. Beauty and the Beast is a classic and deserves to be brought up WAY before Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    fantasyland babies

  • http://twitter.com/MelanieAvalon Melanie Avalon

    There were only two times in my childhood that I remember an adult telling me something and me being 100%-I-would-bet-my-life-on-it sure they were wrong. Like they were just wrong, no question. The first was when the music teacher told us that the Weather Man is actually in front of a blue screen, not a map. Um, wrong. The second was when my mom told me Aladdin wasn’t a real actor he was actually a drawing. I remember sitting in front of the screen and wondering how she could blatantly lie to me like that when I was STARING at the obvious truth. I find all of this slightly disconcerting. 

  • pleasantly surrprised

    pleased that this wasn’t a ryan o’connell article; the title certainly makes it sound like one of his “articles”.

  • terrafirma

    It is Disney, actually.

  • douchegirl

    My favorite one is The Lion King and I’m a twenty-something GIRL.

  • http://dirtyyoungmen.wordpress.com Maxwell Chance

    Jessica Rabbit still is an essential part of my life. 

  • yeea

    monsters inc!!

  • Woyzeck

    My favourites are the Jungle Book, Deep Throat and the Lion King.

  • Lyricism-

    FINDING NEMO?!?!

  • Tyrone

    in my garage, buried under a mountain of other movies that were shit.

  • Tyrone

    ikr, what a spastic.

  • Tyrone

    thats not what you meant.

  • Guesty

    Holes: when Shia LaBeaouf also rapped. dig it oh oh oh dig it….

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    Too recent. Sort of like Ratatouille, which made it on the list somehow…

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    I liked WFRR as a kid – but after rewatching at some point as a teenager I realized just how much I ‘missed’ by not having hit puberty yet.

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    ’cause everybody likes a good “cry beginning to end”-er.

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    +1

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    Are you 80?

  • https://twitter.com/iamthepuddles Jordana Bevan

    fantasia hahahahaha

  • Guies

    sword and the stone hellooo? Like, I know I should like Beauty and the Beast or Mulan bc they aren’t as woman-hatey, but for some reason I can’t resist. Also Fox & the Hound (for when you want to cry)

  • Anonymous

    oh ok.  

  • Anonymous
  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=57300896 Bradley Fogleman

    They had to keep a few good classics for Part II!

  • Guest

    This is a lazy article. All you’ve done is summarize each movie… I’m confused.

  • guest

    The Fox and the Hound.

  • Iamsoy

    EMPERORS NEW GROOVE. David Spade, John Goodman and Patrick Warbuton. If you don’t know you better go (rent it and watch and laugh hysterically).

  • Iamsoy

    Nightmare Before Christmas was Tim Burton. 

  • tawny

    I’m 18 and I love Snow White. 

  • Anon

    This is hilarious…I am a girl in her twenties & my favorite Disney film is Robin Hood (the animated one). I still watch it sometimes. If it were not Robin Hood, it would be The Little Mermaid…when I was a child I watched them both equally. Then my mother took The Little Mermaid away because she thought it was negatively influencing my behavior….what you wrote is so close to my life & busted out laughing. Curious for you to write about Robin Hood.

  • maoe

    Firstly, I disagree with Ratatouille, Alice in Wonderland, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella and Aladdin.
    My favourite is Beauty and the Beast closely followed by Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, Alice in Wonderland (I don’t listen to mcr, I hate it with a passion) and Mulan. There’s no secondly, just thought this article could have been interesting but you went about it the wrong way

  • Anonymous
  • Anonymous

    1shops2.com

  • Alexa

    Um Tarzan? Best movie ever…

  • Efrain

    Nice. My favorite is Lion King. And i am a twenty-something guy. Lol.

  • Chinallie

    WHAT ABOUT 101 DALMATIONS

  • http://www.myheartandmyskull.tumblr.com Lauren

    THE FOX AND THE HOUND, duh.  Obviously this says I love friendship, animals, crying, and stories that are doomed from the start but oh-so-enjoyable while you’re wrapped up in them.

  • Anonymous

    This had me laughing too hard, thank you. I enjoy your articles Chelsea

  • anon

    Tangled… ugh, I love it

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jackie-Lazatin/100000198836045 Jackie Lazatin

    Spot on! I LOVE Hercules! It’s my favorite Disney movie/series. Very funny indeed! Cool. I’m kinda like Meg. ;)  

  • Jennifer

    It was released by Touchstone, which is Disney.

  • guest

    Song of the South (had to Google that one).

  • Rebecca Aranda

    HOW OLD ARE YOU PEOPLE

  • uhhh

    Like others have said, this is just lazy summarizing. Even worse, the very idea for this article can easily be found on one of those useless personality quizzes that clog your Facebook news feed in the middle of the day (because you’re friends with a bunch of bored high schoolers).

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Angelika-Brown/100002796778503 Angelika Brown

    So nope there isn’t A Goofy Movie.

  • amylynn56

     Very funny. looking forward to Part II.

  • Mich

    Prince Phillip, lame?!?! He slayed an effing DRAGON. How many of the other pansy princes can do that?

  • Firewolf215

    Lion king… Im a 20 sumfing female though oh and ariel is RED not ginger omg ever my dog cud tel da different n its colour blind!!!

  • liz

    you do realize ginger means red, right?

  • Kai Black

    Treasure Planet and Titan A.E. for me. Love Jim and Akima’s haircuts.

  • Ryan Dyer

    ooh please do Tangled…

  • Guest

    Beauty and the Beast…hellloooooooooo!!

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