Things I Will Do If I Have A Crush On You

I’ll mail you a pair of balls. Hopefully those won’t run away. 

 bahaha ryan spot on as always.

flawless description of my life, as usual, Ryan. 

flawless description of my life, as usual, Ryan. 

Helga Pataki sindrome, that is. Me too. Sadly, if we ever have a crush on each other, we’ll never know. 

Helga Pataki sindrome, that is. Me too. Sadly, if we ever have a crush on each other, we’ll never know. 

This was actually very comforting, I am not alone in reacting in strange way to attraction.

uninterested, not disinterested! Sorry, I’m a pedant. (A pedant who runs away at the first sign of any sort of crush-reciprocity, obviously)

i love this. 

…have we met? because you seem to know me really, really well.

100% TRUTH. This describes me so accurately, it’s eerie. 

does anyone why it’s so cool to pretend you don’t like the person when you like the person? maybe life would be easier and more fun if we weren’t all shy babies.

does anyone why it’s so cool to pretend you don’t like the person when you like the person? maybe life would be easier and more fun if we weren’t all shy babies.

Awwww…. I LOVE this. The very last paragraph is my favorite and so totally relatable. {{{HUGS}}}

Ryan,  as Cheap Trick  once said, “I want you to want me.”

It’s not cool, you just can’t help it!

I tend to like guys who are a little shy and aloof. It makes them mysterious. Especially if they give you maybe a tiny clue that they might be looking your way. Desire has to be strong enough to make me want to flirt and get to know someone. After all… what if I make the conversation boring or awkward for the shy guy? Even though I am mostly confident even I can make embarrassing moves in dating.

Though I am outgoing. I don’t meet a lot of shy guys to date. I end up meeting outgoing and straight-forward guys who I have no interest in… that ain’t right!

You stole this message from my mind!
Now, let’s find a solution. Crushes are great, but what’s next?

so yeah…you are me pretty much

I really can’t deal with how much Thought Catalog is feeding directly from my brain today (first Angela Chasisms, now crushes)

“This is a quality I have that drives me actually crazy.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Get out of my head!/Your clairvoyance never ceases to amaze me.

Very relatable, but truthfully speaking, isn’t your best work.

I still love you, though! :*

THE SHYBABIES … my new twee pop band name

Gurl, you could not be more wrong. This was rich. I shrieked (read: laughed loudly in a high pitch) more times than I usually do when reading TC.

“Wait, what have I done? Where’s Antonio? Dónde?”

DONDE????? best part of the article.

Ryan, you sir have a gift of articulating L.I.F.E. Such an entertaining read.

You stole my comment!!!  

Oh my god.  This could be something I would write in my diary (if I had one). Except for the balls part, which I literally don’t have.

And this part: “Whenever I ignore someone I have a crush on, I want to be able to send them some sort of smoke signal that says, “S.OS., I like you. Please just talk to me more and I will calm down!” That being said, if I ignore you, there’s a good chance it’s because I actually don’t like you. Gee, this sounds confusing. I’m really screwed, aren’t I?” WE ARE SCREWED.

Things I will do if I have a crush on you: nothing, and that’s why I suck!

if i have a crush on you, ill write you letters ill never send. 

Some of your past “Thoughts” have been questionable, but this one is spot-on and I completely relate to this. Good work!

I used to think that if I ignored them, I would somehow either get over them faster or they would try extra hard to get my attention. BUT IT NEVER WORKS. I then feel terrible and depressed that things have remained the same. 

I learned to just “be normal” with my crushes. Make conversation, BE NICE, and laugh a little. You’ll end up feeling better being good friends with your crush than pretending he/she is the enemy (..who doesn’t text you back within 5 min after you sent them a text, and therefore he/she is an asshole, or something). 

Ryan, you have a remarkable ability to get inside my head. And everyone else’s, too.

This is amazing. Story of my life. Too bad it took me until my last week of college to figure out that it won’t kill me or my fragile ego to actually talk to my crushes…and that stuff happens a lot faster when you actually do. Brilllllliant. 

My thoughts: OMG, he’s dancing with his shirt off :D

My actions: “ew, omg, who takes their shirt off”

I need to take some of your implied advice.  I have problems with liking the warm, exciting feeling of a crush rather than the actual thing too most of the time. :(

A question for the ages.

“(..who doesn’t text you back within 5 min after you sent them a text, and therefore he/she is an asshole, or something).”
I’m glad I’m not the only one. I feel so dumb, but it makes me want to cry and sing Reptilia at the top of my lungs.  I will stop this, for what you suggested. (or try my best to.)

“You see, if I don’t actually like you, I’ll be able to talk to you easily and flirt and laugh and rub your arm. I feel no nervousness because I just won’t think of you in that way. So just to recap, I ignore the people I actually like and lead on the people I don’t. WHAT?!”
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!No, no, come back! I didn’t mean it! I love your style and how I can relate to almost everything you write. This was golden.
xx

“I will look at you and be like, ‘OMG, you’re funny and cute and smart. Now, get the hell away from me!’”
(story of my life) 

Mate, I mean no disrespect but you sound a tad like a 14 yr old girl.

Yeahhhhhh basically. This tends to be more true for boys than girls though, no? Maybe not. Sand-throwing and all.

it’s as if we are the same person.

I love you

Ohhh my god. I am also debilitatingly shy. The only time I’m not is when I’m drinking. Currently, I have a crush on the guy who teaches in the classroom across the hall from me, and I can’t be drunk at work…ughh.

Shit. This is so me. 

wow, seriously. as a young kid i used to be so shy and eventually i grew out of it. now out of my group of friends, i’m probably one of the most outgoing and spontaneous ones. but i’m starting to like this one guy i met not to long ago and when we’d hang out he would notice i would get so shy around him but i’d be “normal” around my friends. like the inner past shy kid coming to haunt me again. so frustrating, which i will never understand and makes me want to stop liking a person so i can just act like my normal around them.

true story! i still kept the letter on my bag. urgh.

Yer not gay. Yer a chick.

my thought: OMG, this is spot-on. i can relate to this. GREAT ARTICLE RYAN!
What i write:  this is  bland.

p/s: i have a crush on you <3

This is me! hahahhaha spot on!

Oh, hello there. We have a shite load in common. 

we should be friends and talk about the hot guys we crush on and are too scared to talk to
you’re just like me, but a gay man.
xoxo

Ahahaha <3

This is so accurate. Why can’t they read my smoke signals dammit!

wow…u have a gift <3

Im not the type of person that goes around reading blogs..really..i dont.. but a friend posted one of yours on fb and ive been hooked ever since..all i gotta say is that ur awesome..u really are..now that its said, have a nice day :)

o men its like me damn it why is it so hard even im very far from her seeng her makes me scared already or if i accidentaly saw her like a meter away i would go somewhere far from her aw men

Damn true. It happened to me all the time he’s near. It was like, “Oh please stay with me a little bit longer” but it turned out to be “I got million things to do.” and disappear! I get clumsy in front of him. Embarrassing!      :’<

Story of my life!