Thought Catalog

You Should Fall For Someone Who Doesn’t Love You

  • 0
Marta St▲rbucks
Marta St▲rbucks

It occurred to me the other day that there might be people in this world who have never known unrequited love, have never fallen for someone who didn’t fall too.

I know it’s rarer than a solar eclipse, but it seems likely that some have managed it; people who married their high school sweetheart, who got it right on the first try, who were seemingly born with enough innate confidence to walk right up to the object of their affection and say, “I think you’re great, would you like to go on a date sometime” and whose confidence was rewarded with a resolute, “Absolutely, I’d love to” and a Happily Ever After. The rest of us would be inclined to murder a couple like this if we ever came across them, but I maintain that they are the ones who are missing out. Everyone should fall for someone who doesn’t love them back at least once.

People who don’t love you can be found in many places. Pick the person in a brand new relationship; they can’t see more than five inches past the face of their new love, let alone far enough to see you pining away in the corner. Pick the girl you’ve been friends with for ages, the one who refers to you as a brother and will never see you as anything else. Pick the boy who flirts with everyone, sleeps with everyone, the one who doesn’t know what he’s looking for and never seems satisfied. He’ll do just fine, too.

This has to be more than a crush, more than just a fleeting attraction. Thinking they look cute when they smile, or letting your imagination momentarily wander when they touch your skin isn’t enough. You must love them with every fiber of your being, from the moment you wake up until the moment you fall asleep, day after heartbroken day. Memorize the rhythm and cadence of their voice, the subtle gestures of their hands and each expression of their face, so when you’re asleep and dreaming of a world in which you’re together, it seems real. Feel your soul fracture each morning when you wake up and realize it isn’t.

Let the agony, the obsession, consume you. Nothing hurts quite as exquisitely as loving someone who doesn’t love you back.

Perhaps you think I’m crazy for suggesting anyone let themselves fall into this pit of despair, that I’m an emotional sadist of the worst variety. But darling reader, I assure you I’m not, because eventually something happens to every single person who loves someone who doesn’t love them back: they manage to stop being in love.

While it takes varying amounts of time, everyone finds their breaking point, that moment when enough becomes enough. It could be the third night you cry yourself to sleep, the fifth time they cancel plans with you to be with someone else, or the eighth night in a row you spend getting drunk alone. It can take months, or even years. But here’s what you’ll have once you get there:

After surviving that kind of ache, you’ll be so much stronger, so much more certain of yourself. You’ll see that all pain (physical, emotional, and metal) is a temporary state of being, not a permanent one. There is always a reason to go on, always a reason to fight for yourself.

You’ll realize that because you are not loved by one does not mean you are not loved by all. You’ll understand that love cannot be won like a teddy bear at the fair; cannot be stolen like a rare painting from a museum in the dead of night. You’ll see that real love comes first from within, not from anyone else. You learn that those annoying people who say things like, “real love comes from within” were telling you the truth this whole time, but you had to learn it for yourself. Don’t worry – you don’t need to tell them they were right.

Getting over unrequited love feels like having a blindfold removed – you suddenly see all the love you’ve had in your life this whole time, and you’ll appreciate those individuals like never before. You will be humbled, you will be grateful, you will be wiser.

Here’s the best part, though, about getting over someone who doesn’t love you: you realize that nobody healed your heartache, that you were able to fix yourself all on your own. And once you’ve proven to yourself that you can recover from that, you won’t be afraid to go looking for love again.

And again, and again and again.

And one of those times, you’re bound to be rewarded with someone who reciprocates every ounce of your unbridled affection, who loves you just as much as you love them, and that will be the most supreme feeling of ecstasy you can fathom. You’ll see that loving someone who didn’t love you back was totally worth it. TC mark

Want to get invited to exclusive private parties where you live? Thought Catalog can arrange that. Sign up here.

Powered by Revcontent

Poetry Lovers! 💖

Love a soft person. The ones who are positive, even in the worst of circumstances. Someone whose strength is not in bravado, but in their quiet. Someone who is strong for others because that is what is needed in that moment. Someone who is the moon that soothes instead of the sun that burns. Someone who sees the very best in people even when you think they aren’t worth it. The kind of person who always wants to do the best for those they love.

“I bought this on a whim to read as I was resting for the night, and I do not regret it one bit! Everything about the poetry in this book is amazing, heart breaking, and soul searching. It will lift your spirits on your darkest days. I want to thank the author so much for writing this, as it’s something I will be rereading a lot! Always remember, everything about you is important. You matter.” —McKayla

Click to heal your heart

More From Thought Catalog

You Should Fall For Someone Who Doesn’t Love You is cataloged in , , , ,
  • http://dreampagespro.wordpress.com dreampagesproductions

    Reblogged this on The Dream Theories and commented:
    (: awesome

  • http://owlsgaze.wordpress.com owlsgaze

    Reblogged this on Owl's Gaze and commented:
    Well written and poignant.

  • http://mariaeandreu.com/2013/08/28/why-you-should-love-someone-that-doesnt-love-you-back/ Why you should love someone that doesn’t love you back | Maria E. Andreu -

    […] Sometimes I come across an essay that I wish I’d written. This Thought Catalog is one such piece. A brand new take on an issue that vexes me: what to do when you love someone that doesn’t love you back. Worth the read. Click here. […]

  • jasmine(:

    Reblogged this on hello..

  • http://sleepyvodka.wordpress.com Jiahui

    Reblogged this on Why I'm not where you are.

  • http://flowersatmidnight.wordpress.com/2013/08/28/186/ 186| | Tonight
  • http://generalslc.wordpress.com generalslc

    Reblogged this on generalslc.

  • http://chomuffin.wordpress.com/2013/08/29/3389/ CHLOE
  • eileensn

    Reblogged this on Hidden in Reflections and commented:
    This is a pretty cool and true post! words of wisdom inside again.

  • SkankAngel

    Reblogged this on SkankAngel and commented:
    It’s true. Now that I’ve moved on from someone who didn’t love me but didn’t want to let me go I’ve never felt better. I say moved on, now that I’m in the process of moving on and doing really good at it is more accurate.

  • http://thebohoowl.wordpress.com 23rica

    Reblogged this on TheBohoOwl and commented:
    And it has ME written all over it. :)

  • http://twoantemeridiem.wordpress.com/2013/08/29/things-i-dont-say/ Things I don’t say | Step 16
  • http://kismetjournal.wordpress.com eizamiharu

    Reblogged this on kismetjournal and commented:
    Relatable. :)

  • http://kaelaworld.wordpress.com kaelaworld

    Reblogged this on Kaela's Kaleidoscope..

  • http://ingradible.wordpress.com ingradible

    Reblogged this on ingradible and commented:
    “This has to be more than a crush, more than just a fleeting attraction.”
    _inGRAdible: Couldn’t agree more! Yes, I am insanely in love with SOMEONE who doesn’t love me. Do I have regrets? No! Unrequited love, one-way love, or whatever you call it… though THIS PERSON WILL NEVER LOVE ME BACK, my heart will never stop beating for him! This obsession has been driving me crazy for more than 3 years! But who cares, I just can’t stop loving… hoping… dreaming… that someday, this crazy love will be paid off! I don’t mind his preference. I don’t mind that he knows that I am head over heels for him. He is both my sanity and insanity.
    “Let the agony, the obsession, consume you. Nothing hurts quite as exquisitely as loving someone who doesn’t love you back.”
    _inGRAdible: Errrr. I’m crazy, infatuated, and obsessed. I like you. I love you. When will I stop being in love with you?
    “Getting over unrequited love feels like having a blindfold removed – you suddenly see all the love you’ve had in your life this whole time, and you’ll appreciate those individuals like never before. You will be humbled, you will be grateful, you will be wiser.
    Here’s the best part, though, about getting over someone who doesn’t love you: you realize that nobody healed your heartache, that you were able to fix yourself all on your own. And once you’ve proven to yourself that you can recover from that, you won’t be afraid to go looking for love again.
    And again, and again and again.
    And one of those times, you’re bound to be rewarded with someone who reciprocates every ounce of your unbridled affection, who loves you just as much as you love them, and that will be the most supreme feeling of ecstasy you can fathom. You’ll see that loving someone who didn’t love you back was totally worth it.”
    _inGRAdible: Yes, the realization already struck me…that YOU CAN NEVER LOVE someone like me. Not until the right person comes, I’ll slowly let my love for you fade away.. .

  • http://marjiii.tumblr.com marjiii

    Reblogged this on confession sessions and commented:
    Let the agony, the obsession, consume you. Nothing hurts quite as exquisitely as loving someone who doesn’t love you back.

    THE UNIVERSE IS TELLING ME SOMETHING

  • http://fanfiction.net/~terrymay Terry-May

    Reblogged this on My Story, My Life, Me. and commented:
    Ahaha. I guess I will have to walk away from all past heartbreaks on my own without having to use any other person as a stepping stone. I guess if I keep relying on new people in my life to help me get over the old pains and remnant chylomicrons scars, I won’t be able to move forward.

    There’s no point holding on any longer to a love that will never come to fruition as much as I deny that this sort of feeling was never ‘love’ in the first place. /sigh
    I’m going to pick myself up by myself. Like they say, it’s in failure that you learn the most, and I can understand that now.
    Congratulations, you broke me. But watch and learn as I try and fix myself without any help, no matter how long that might take me.
    Hahaha.

  • http://ellengau.wordpress.com/2013/09/02/silly-little-girl-where-are-you/ Silly little girl, where are you? | Ellen Nguyen

    […] You Should Fall For Someone Who Doesn’t Love You (thoughtcatalog.com) […]

  • virinasarahyeo

    Reblogged this on Hola soy virina..

  • http://letter4autumn.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/someone-i-love-but-he-doesnt-love-me-back/ Someone I Love but He Doesn’t Love Me Back | letter4autumn

    […] Bagaimana jika kamu mencintai seseorang yang ternyata tidak berbalik mencintaimu? Beberapa orang memilih melupakan orang itu–entah bagaimana caranya– dan beberapa orang yang lain tidak kenal lelah untuk memperjuangkan cintanya–berusaha membuat orang yang dicintainya balik mencintainya juga. Kelihatannya tidak ada pilihan ketiga. Paling tidak awalnya aku berpikir begitu. Sampai aku menemukan link ini: https://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/you-should-fall-for-someone-who-doesnt-love-you/#ulBQYc6hZWEADiQA.01 […]

  • http://aletheaseraphina.wordpress.com/2013/09/05/you-should-fall-for-someone-who-doesnt-love-you-thought-catalog/ You Should Fall For Someone Who Doesn’t Love You | Thought Catalog | Staticvolts.

    […] You Should Fall For Someone Who Doesn’t Love You | Thought Catalog. […]

  • http://confessionsofaworryfreak.wordpress.com Alyssa Shank

    Reblogged this on Confessions of a Worry Freak and commented:
    This is awesome. And true.

  • http://flavors.me/koikoy koikoy12

    Reblogged this on realism over idealism.

  • http://tatistidbits.wordpress.com/2013/10/06/daily-roundup-oct-6th/ Daily Roundup Oct 6th. | Tati's Tidbits

    […] You Should Fall For Someone Who Doesn’t Love You […]

  • http://confessionsofarlynsimbahan.wordpress.com confessionofarlynsimbahan

    Reblogged this on Confessions of ArlynSimbahan and commented:
    “Here’s the best part, though, about getting over someone who doesn’t love you: you realize that nobody healed your heartache, that you were able to fix yourself all on your own. And once you’ve proven to yourself that you can recover from that, you won’t be afraid to go looking for love again.

    And again, and again and again.

    And one of those times, you’re bound to be rewarded with someone who reciprocates every ounce of your unbridled affection, who loves you just as much as you love them, and that will be the most supreme feeling of ecstasy you can fathom. You’ll see that loving someone who didn’t love you back was totally worth it.”

blog comments powered by Disqus