16 Women Give The Dirty Details About Why An Ex-Partner Couldn’t Make Them Cum


1. He thought porn sex was real sex.

“He’d watched too much porn and thought women came from that first moment a dick goes inside them. Oh, honey… no.”

-Anonymous, 26

2. He didn’t know the clitoris existed

“True story – I was with a guy for almost two years who never once bothered to figure out where the clitoris was. It was my first relationship and the first guy I’d had sex with so to be fair I didn’t really take the initiative to teach him anything about how my body worked. But looking back now I can’t believe I didn’t dump his ass sooner. The sex was aggressively average for years and I didn’t cum ONCE the whole time I was with him.”

-Anonymous, 28

3. No stamina.

“He came in like two minutes. And then was done.”

-Anonymous, 24

4. He was TOO communicative.

“He was too busy asking me for feedback every three seconds for me to enjoy myself. Like, I appreciate that he liked good communication, but asking me to rank him from “1 to 10″ on how good he was in bed after approximately half-a-minute was excessive.”

-Anonymous, 22

5. He had baby fever.

“A guy once told me, “you’d look good holding a baby” mid sex and I DEFINITELY wasn’t gonna orgasm after that.”

-Anonymous, 28

6. He read the wrong Cosmo article.

“He sincerely thought doing the alphabet was a quality cunilingus technique.”

-Anonymous, 25

7. He didn’t even try.

“The unfortunate truth about most of the guys I’ve been with is that they just aren’t interested in my orgasm – they want to cum and aren’t really concerned about anything else.”

-Anonymous, 23

8. She made a cutting impression.

“She forgot to cut her nails. RIP vagina.”

-Anonymous, 24

9. His understanding of the female anatomy was all wrong.

“He genuinely believed that the clitoris was on the top of the pubic bone, so he’d just like…rub awkwardly there. Thinking it was doing something. It wasn’t.”

-Anonymous, 20

10. The comfort level just wasn’t there.

“I usually don’t feel comfortable enough to cum with anyone I don’t know very well. If it’s a casual hookup I don’t even bother trying. That shit takes energy and intimacy. It doesn’t just happen for us the way it does for men.”

-Anonymous, 25

11. He couldn’t take helpful advice.

“He was intimidated by me telling him, “hey this feels good, do this please.” He would get all weird and in his head about it instead of just doing what I knew would get me off.”

-Anonymous, 27

12. The heat was a turned up in a bad way.

“I was once with this guy who was just SWEATING EXCESSIVELY. Like he was dropping sweat from his face on to mine and I simply could not. And his hands were always cold and sweaty too. So then he would, like put his hand on my hips and it was just… yikes.”

-Anonymous, 23

13. She wanted it to be all about her.

“One time I was fucking a girl who was a total pillow princess, and then FINALLY was like “I mean I guess I’ll reciprocate” and she just like, sort of half-assedly fingered me while looking out the window all sadly. Not exactly a turn-on.”

-Anonymous, 31

14. He ignored the mental component.

“I can’t cum unless I’m mentally stimulated by the person in some way. I need texts through the day and building anticipation to get in the mood. Most of my exes who failed to make me cum didn’t understand that sex for women starts waaaaay before their clothes come off.”

-Anonymous, 26

15. He couldn’t give back.

“He wouldn’t go down on me because he thought eating out a woman was ‘gross.’ But expected me to go down on him. You can guess how long that relationship lasted.”

-Anonymous, 20

16. All he did was thrust and hope for the best.

“He thought that blindly thrusting into my vagina was going to give me an orgasm. It never occurred to him that what feels good for him isn’t directly equivalent to what feels good for me. Ugh.”

-Anonymous, 25 Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Valentina Rayas

Just another twenty-something figuring it out as I go.

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