“Josh. Josh can’t think in his head, he always talks out his thoughts and what he is doing. ‘I need a Coke, 2 Diet Cokes, and a sweet tea. Got it.’”
“I’m gonna call him Jeff.
Jeff is very vocal about how he believes that aliens come down and mate with people.
Jeff will also tell anyone within earshot all about the aluminum the government sprays from airplanes and about how fluoride in the water is used to brainwash us.
Jeff has tried to convince me that all the Walmarts are connected underground and they use it to transport children to all the pedophiles in the government. That Michelle Obama is a man and their children are actors.
Jeff believes in a place called Pedophile Island and won’t stop talking about Pizzagate.
Jeff is obsessed with pedophiles; he thinks the old man in his apartment building is a pedophile.
Jeff can’t go a whole day without talking about pedophiles and I’m starting to think that Jeff is a pedophile himself.
Jeff thinks that you can play high-pitched sounds to change the vibration of the water in your body and cure your diseases.
Jeff happens to know a bunch of B-list celebrities and band members and he tells fucking everyone.
Jeff always has a story better than yours or an opinion on how to do whatever you’re doing better.
It’s fine if Jeff chooses to believe all of this, but it’s not fine if you tell me about it every day. And what’s even less fine is that he feels he needs to tell everyone that walks into our shop about these things.
My clients, his clients, walk ins, anyone with working ears has to hear this bullshit every. Fucking. Day.
I wish Jeff would go the fuck away.”