Just So You Know, He’s Hurting Just As Much As You

Artem Kulikov

He looked at you and saw what could be. Despite his fears of trying and getting hurt again, he reached out and you let him.

He wants you to know how much your presence means. He wants you to know the words he shouldn’t utter and the thoughts he couldn’t bring out to the surface.

He wants to tell you everything. How he wakes up in the middle of the night terrified to sleep again. How he prays that the darkness and monsters in his head would finally leave him. And how he looks at you fearing that you might get tired of his pain.

He prayed for the exact same thing and wished at every star that had fallen. He prayed for the insecurities to vanish into thin air. He prayed for enough strength to believe and try again.

He didn’t stop praying for a miracle. But his prayers weren’t heard. Or if they were, God chose not to answer.

He’s still a mess and it’s not going change anytime soon. It hurts him because he knows you deserve the world. You deserve to be loved with no hesitations. You deserve to be with someone who is sure of who he is.

He’s a wreak and the last thing he wants is for you to see him break. To see you hurting because of him is more painful than being wounded by his own struggle.

You made him realize that the only way to get through the pain is to go through it. You slowly fixed him without even trying. You made him believe in something again.

He was broken but he’s slowly healing. He’s slowly learning how to fight his battles because he knows he’s no longer alone and he never has to be again.

He just prays that when he’s finally okay, you won’t decide to run away. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I write to remember and to forget.

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