1. Instagram each course when you go out to dinner with him, including the amuse-bouche and definitely the dessert. Only choose the filters that most effectively highlight the pink undertones in your salmon steak or the deep reds in your wine (pro tip: Valencia). End your photo stream with a couple’s selfie which you hashtag #datenight and #bae because the world needs to know y’all hang out.
2. Whenever a girl who could be a potential threat (read: all of them) posts on his Facebook profile, send a passive-aggressive like her way just so you can, you know, mark your territory via social media.
3. Find any excuse to bring him up during conversation with your friends, parents, classmates, or professors so that you can reiterate the fact that one, you have a boyfriend, and two, he is an integral part of your life. If your friend Johnny mentions that he’s going to Panama City Beach for vacation, make sure that you casually recall that one time your boyfriend’s cousin drove through Panama City Beach on his way to Texas.
4. If, per chance, you happen to see his ex-girlfriend while out on the town with him, make sure to assert your dominance! Options for doing so include: staring at her intently until she looks up (at which point, you glare for a few seconds before nonchalantly checking back into the conversation in front of you), walking by her and accidentally spilling your beer on her, or grabbing him by the face and passionately making out with him. Using tongue. Even though PDA is so, like, tacky.
5. Ensure that he has a marked presence on your own Facebook profile (see number three) but to a healthy degree — duh! He should make an appearance in your profile photo, cover photo, and 80 percent of your recent photos — in which y’all are standing in the exact same position because your face always looks the skinniest from the left.
6. Speaking of social media, a sizable chunk of your Tweets should revolve around him in some capacity — whether they reference how lovely your intimate hang-out sessions are, how much you miss him while he’s in class, or how #blessed you feel to have such an exceptional gentleman care for you.
7. When you’re feeling #casual and dressing up for class or the library seems like it would be too much effort than you could muster, pull out one of his sweatshirts from the collection you keep in the back of your closet and refuse to return to him. Rep Syosset High Basketball as soon as you head outside and make sure to tell anyone who asks that yes, this sweatshirt belongs to your boyfriend and yes, he killed it on the court back in the day.
8. Post social media updates whenever a relevant milestone passes in your relationship. For example, did you and he really celebrate your second anniversary if you didn’t inform the 1500 of your closet friends that you spent the #prettymuchperfect night together drinking Cosmos, watching National Geographic while he rubbed the bunions on your feet, and reveling in how compatible y’all are with one another?