1. They are unafraid to tell you what no one else dares to or will take the time to because they care about you — even when they know these are things you don’t necessarily want to hear. Especially when they know these are things you don’t necessarily want to hear.
2. Despite how busy you two have become — your lives devolving into an endless blur of stressful deadlines and overdue assignments — you always take the time and effort to see each other.
3. Regardless of how much time has passed since the last time you’ve hung out, once you start to catch up, it feels as though no time has passed at all.
4. Even though the two of you have beat them to death by this point, the same inside jokes and references will never cease to make you giggle like a pair of ten-year-olds who’ve inhaled a stack of Pixie Sticks.
5. This is your go-to partner in crime during a night out on the town, but you two can have just as much fun on a Saturday night drooling over Luke Bryan’s heart-stopping, pelvis-stopping CMA’s performances with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.
6. Speaking of which, you never fight over which flavor of Ben and Jerry’s to buy for a night in.
7. Though neither of you are passive-aggressive people, you can only conduct fights and arguments (which have been sparse in your friendship) via text message because the prospect of saying anything remotely mean to one another in person is heart-wrenching.
8. Whenever the two of you argue, you become sad rather than mad. And end up reconciling approximately two hours after the onset of the argument.
9. The idea of marriage is slightly terrifying to you, and unlike some people your age, you have never given much thought to what your hypothetical, future wedding would look like (except, whatever band you choose is going to have to play “The Gardener” at some point — the Tallest Man on Earth is your jam). However, you know that you have a go-to maid of honor if you ever do decide to take the plunge.
10. They are the only person in the world you would trust to plan your bachelorette party with the appropriate balance between #crunk and class.
11. You generally don’t like to share your food, but they always have an open invitation to pick off your plate.
12. They have become so attuned to your thoughts, emotions, and physical quirks that you’ve learned lying to them is futile because they would see through it in a minute.
13. Sleep is a precious commodity for you these days, but if they ever called you at five in the morning because they needed a ride home from a sticky situation, you would be out the door in fifteen seconds — bra-less under your pajamas and still wearing your retainer.
14. You are so comfortable around each other that you openly talk about poop.
15. In fact, you talk about your bodily functions more frequently than you do about dating. Good friends talk about what goes in the bedroom, but best friends talk about what goes on in the bathroom.
16. You are so loyal to one another that none of your other friends or acquaintances will dare say a negative word about either one of you in front of the other.
17. When they ask for a favor that you think is unreasonable, you have no problem saying “no” and explaining why because you know that they won’t hold it against you.
18. They know your favorite kind of candy, and they know how you take your coffee.
19. They never got mad at you for that time you two had to stop your cab en route to a party so you could pull yourself together in the bathroom of a Steak ‘n Shake. You never got mad at them for that time they vomited inside your favorite pair of boots and peed on your hallway carpet. Life happens.
20. You can’t even recall the last time you two argued over someone you were both interested in because you have both realized that romantic relationships change with the season but friendships last all year round.
21. Similarly, people know that you are a package deal and that hitting on one of you precludes hitting on the other.
22. You ask one another about the minutia in your lives not out of social niceties but because you genuinely care about how their presentation went or about the awkward interaction they had after class with the guy who tried to ask them out two weeks ago.
23. The only person more excited than them for their upcoming birthday or their new romantic prospects is you.
24. One of the worst experiences you can think of is watching them cry. Whenever they cry, you instinctually feel an inclination to cry out of sympathy because their pain hurts you.
25. When they hear that someone has behaved cruelly or rudely towards you, the first words that come out of their mouth are “Where are my keys? Let’s go buy some eggs and toilet paper.” Just kidding. But you know that they have always got your back.
26. However divergent their interests may be from yours, you find yourself looking into the stuff they like — whether this entails reading the stats they sent you about their favorite football team or checking out the hip, new band they told you to listen to — because there must be a reason they like it, right?
27. Instead of becoming frustrated or wary of the qualities that make you as unique (read: strange) as you are, they embrace and even encourage them — even if one of those idiosyncrasies constitutes screaming profanities with the zest of an ADHD toddler whenever Jay Cutler comes onto the screen during a football game.
28. With all of your heart, you wish for their happiness because nothing would make you happier.