Ah, the life of a 20-something. We’re all about “adulting” one minute, and “getting lit” the next. We whine about how we are “unlucky in love”, yet we’re consciously holding out for the guy who asks for booty pics. #SendNudes
Obviously, our 20s are an insanely weird time – and often full of multiple disappointments. However, sometimes, you’ll realize that these disappointments may not be as soul-crushing as you initially thought. In fact, you might end up being strangely grateful for some of them.
Here are 3 letdowns that will actually turn out to be advantageous in the long run:
1. That first job that’s meant to a “stepping stone”, but you’re just getting stomped on.
Post-college graduation, most of us have that “what now?” moment. Even if we partied hard but studied harder, snagging that dream job isn’t nearly as easy as snagging that $5 bar tab. (God bless college bars, am I right?)
Some of us might have actually enjoyed our first job – but the rest of us weren’t so lucky. From the consistent “bitch work” to the looming fear that we wasted our time getting a useless degree, it can really take a toll on our happiness and self-esteem.
If you’re still stuck in that “meh” area, don’t lose hope just yet. Beef up your resume, and work up some good talking points for future interviews. Look up job descriptions that are more aligned with your goals, and pinpoint duties in your current description that may intersect. Hone in on those skills, and sell yourself.
Once you finally find yourself doing what you love, you’ll be grateful you started where you did. #TrustTheProcess
2. A relationship ending, which you were pretending wasn’t already shitty from the start.
As young adults, there’s a lot of pressure on us to find stability. This is particularly prevalent in the idea of securing a romantic relationship.
Even if we’re content being single, we still face the constant badgering from family and friends – “How’s that love life?”, “Are you seeing anyone?” and the absolute worst: “Girl, you need to get OUT THERE!”
Sometimes this pressure actually starts messing with our heads. In response, we end up agreeing to a relationship we’re unsure about, or attempting to force something that’s clearly just not there, simply because we’re convinced it’s “what we’re supposed to do.”
Once you’re over the inevitable breakup (which will probably happen way quicker than you thought), you’ll realize that you were chasing the idea of a relationship – not the actual person.
It’s a learning experience – and one you’ll eventually be thankful you had. It’ll remind you that next time around, be sure focus on what you truly want – not what you think you’re supposed to want.
3. Those waves of self-loathing insecurity – that always seem to pop up at the most inopportune times.
Unavoidable – yet secretly useful. Realistically, we can’t be 100% confident all the time. Negative thoughts are a bitch, but they also remind us that we’re human and it’s normal to have certain expectations for ourselves.
Typically, we’re told to silence these thoughts and instead do something positive – such as make a list of what we’re grateful for. This advice is solid – but it can also be looked at differently.
What if we didn’t ignore the thoughts, and instead took the time to really listen? We don’t have to necessarily believe them, but instead assess where they may be coming from. This can help us to recognize sources of toxicity in our life. Is there a person that may be inadvertently causing us to feel this way? Can we improve our mood by changing our environment in some shape or form?
Sometimes feeling insecure doesn’t have a rhyme or reason to it – it’s just a natural part of growing up and figuring things out. However, other times, there’s an underlying cause.
In short, self-doubt is never a pleasant experience – but it can teach us more than we may think. That temporary feeling of discomfort can actually help us find comfort in ourselves – and it all starts with being cognizant of where it’s coming from.