18 Things You Can Only Talk About With Your Best Friend

The FXX comedy ‘Wilfred’ tells the story of one of TV’s strangest friendships – between the struggling ex-lawyer Ryan (Elijah Wood), and his neighbor’s dog, Wilfred (Jason Gann). The weird part is – while everyone else sees Wilfred as a regular dog, Ryan sees him as a crude, hilarious Australian man in a dog suit. In honor of the show’s Final Season premiere, we’ve dedicated this post to all of the ridiculous, sometimes shameful things that go on between close friends.

1. The bizarre crushes that you would never reveal to anyone else. Only your best friend knows that, for some reason, Count Chocula really turns you on.

2. The irrational hate you have for someone that you barely know, but there’s just something about them that makes you want to throw a rock at them.

3. You’ve made a pact to never again speak about the night at 3am when things got weird with that stuffed bear. It was a learning experience and no one shall speak of it ever again.

4. You never text a crush without running the drafts of it by your best friend and, after consulting their notes and corrections, only then will you press Send.

5. They can tell you a shirt looks terrible on you and you don’t get offended. If anyone else said it, you’d threaten them with a broken bottle.

6. When your sibling is in the room and says something passive aggressive, you can give you friend the ‘side eye of understanding,’ since they already know the back story of it all.

7. You’ve had this conversation:

“I need to tell you about something. Now don’t be mad, OK?”

“What did you do?”

“It’s what’s best for you, I promise! You’ll end up thanking me later.”

8. Everyone else thinks you forgot about a Father’s Day gift because you were really busy with work, but your best friend knows it’s because you still haven’t forgotten that he missed your starring role in the 9th grade production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

9. They know that when you tell everyone else you’ve been studying all day, at least two hours of that time was spent taking online quizzes figuring out which TV character you were most like.

10. You can tell them the horrible, offensive joke that you’d never think of telling anyone else because any other person would think you’re a deranged monster.

11. “This weird, white bump popped up on my inner thigh. Can you look at it and help me figure out what it is?”

12. When something happens in a group setting that totally reminds you of an inside joke and you two don’t have to say a word. You look at each other for a split second and have more of a conversation than words could ever say.

13. With anyone else, if you’re on the phone using the bathroom you have to do that move where your body is completely out of the room, but you reach in with one finger, flush, and run so they don’t hear the toilet. With your best friend you can freely flush and not feel judged at all. You’ll probably discuss how it went, actually.

14. “OK before we go in here I need you to pretend you’re my dentist and you have a Swedish accent, deal?” No questions asked. You know it must be for a good reason.

15. There is no one else on the planet you’d ask to help you figure out which Instagram filter makes you look the most like you’re totally over your ex.

16. When you were in between jobs you told everyone else you were “finding yourself” but your best friend knew that meant wearing the same sweatpants for a week and getting emotionally invested in reality shows.

17. Nothing whatsoever. You can sit in silence and not think, “oh man I need to figure out something to say.” It’s the best feeling in the world.

18. You’ve had numerous talks about not digging up your yard or chasing neighborhood cats. Your best friend is your dog, right? Thought Catalog Logo Mark

This post brought to you by Wilfred.

image – Wilfred

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