Have you ever bought your boyfriend a present and thought that you should also buy a greeting card? Let me warn you, you don’t want to do this. I know it seems to be a sweet gesture, but the best option here is to just say whatever it is you were going to put into a card. If you decide to give a card, here’s what’s going to happen:

You’re going to pick out a card with a sunset on the front or maybe a dandelion being blown in the wind. You’ll tuck it under the ribbon of the wonderful present you bought so he has to open it before the gift. He’ll open it up and read what you’ve written inside. I’m sure it’s heartfelt, but it’s nearly impossible to know what to say after looking over a card, so he’ll probably say something like, “aww, this is so nice.” No one knows what to do there, so you guys will probably hug.

Now comes the difficult part. He’s not going to know what to do with it. Do you put it on the refrigerator? You can’t throw it away because that would be insensitive, right? He’s going to do the only other option and put it into a box with a bunch of other keepsakes that you don’t have any use for, but you’re not supposed to throw away. This will be things like friend’s wedding programs, newspaper clippings, or receipts to items that have a warranty, but weren’t clear on the return policy so you keep that piece of paper for eternity. The card is placed inside and then pushed under a bed or placed in the back of the closet.

The relationship is going to go really well and, after a while, you guys are going to move in together. This is great! But then something terrible happens. While going through a bunch of boxes and unpacking you’re going to come across an unlabeled box. Maybe it’s something perishable, so you should look inside. It’s the keepsake box. As you look through it, you realize that, in addition to your card, it’s also filled with cards from girls in past relationships. Is it because he regrets that relationship ending? Maybe he’d rather be with them. Your mind is going to start playing out every scenario and then you’ll start doing that thing where you talk through both sides of an argument that hasn’t actually happened. “If he says this, then I’m going to say this. Then if he thinks for one second that he could assume me of this then I’m going to bring up that time he went to Indiana. Like I don’t know what goes on in Indiana!” This isn’t because you’re a girl, it’s because everyone reacts like that in this scenario. It’s an automatic insecurity trigger.

Now you two are going to get into a big fight because it looks like he’s still holding on to past relationships. The truth of it is that he had gotten cards from those girls when they were seeing each other and had no idea what to do with those either. He tossed them in the box, because he didn’t want to hurt their feelings and then forgotten about them. Now your beautiful relationship could very well fall apart and it’s all because you just had to include a greeting card with your gift.

If you care about your relationship and you don’t want it to unnecessarily fall apart, then make sure you avoid greeting cards at all costs. Do it for the both of you. Do it for the love.