In 2018, I’m believing him over anyone else. I’m not going to try to interfere with his plans. I’m not going to try to make difficult things work. I’m not going to keep banging on the doors he decided to close. I’m not going to go against what his signs are telling me. In 2018, I’m letting him guide me instead of following other people.
In 2018, I’m running to him when I feel lost. I won’t talk to other people, I’ll just pray more. I’ll tell him how I’m really feeling. I’ll ask him to make things easier when they get hard. I’ll ask him to fill my heart with his love instead of trying to find it in all the wrong places. I’ll ask him to give me the patience and the strength I need to walk this journey alone. I’ll ask him to stay next to me as I figure out where I really belong and what I truly want.
In 2018, I’m letting go. Letting go of what’s not meant for me. Letting go of my expectations or the things I thought I should accomplish by a certain age. I’m letting go of all the plans I made for myself because society led me to believe that I should live that way. I’m letting go of comparing my life to others and feeling like I’m far behind. I’m letting go of wanting things that shouldn’t be mine. I’m letting go of my fear of losing things or people and trusting that God will not take away something or someone from my life unless they were going to do more harm than good. I’m trusting God’s judgment because mine is flawed.
In 2018, I’m wishing for the best. I’ll stop being pessimistic. I’ll stop thinking of the worst-case scenarios. I’ll stop saying ‘why God?’ and start looking at the lessons he’s trying to teach me. I’ll start being more positive about the future because if God is writing my story, then it will surely be a beautiful one. It may not be an easy one, but I know it has a happy ending. I know it’s filled with dreams coming true and wishes being granted and miracles finding their way to me. I know it’s going to be a story worth living. I know it’s going to be a story of defeat leading to victory. A story of heartbreak followed by love. A story of despair turning into hope.
In 2018, I’m waking up. I’ll listen to the words he whispers to me. I’ll read his subtle signs. I’ll remember his words when I fail to write mine. I’ll find my answers with him. I’ll find my sanity in his wisdom. I’ll revive my soul with his love and I’ll heal my heart with his faith. In 2018, I’m counting on God to make me whole again. I’m done trying to do it myself. I’m done trying to pretend like I know what’s best for me when I have the ultimate teacher waiting for me to put all my faith in him and let him work his magic.