If only we saw the potential we have, the best in us, the beauty in our imperfections and the strength in our flaws. If only we were kind to ourselves when we don’t know how to be perfect or when we make mistakes. If only we knew how to forgive ourselves the way we forgive the ones we love. If only we let ourselves get away with the things we let others get away with.

If only we could love ourselves when we’re being obnoxious, if only we knew how to accept ourselves when we’re struggling to change and if only we knew how to be patient with ourselves when we’re about to give up, our lives will change. We will change. Our world will change.

Because if we’re capable of loving others even when they hurt us, even when they’re wrong for us, we’re more deserving of that kind of love from ourselves first.

If we could still love someone who hurt us, someone who betrayed us, someone who broke our hearts then we can definitely give ourselves a second chance. We can definitely learn how to love ourselves again. We can learn how not to define ourselves by what we did in the past and we can definitely learn how to find reasons to believe in ourselves again.

If only we knew how to support ourselves the way we support others when they’re drowning. If only we invested in ourselves the way we invest in others. If only we loved ourselves unconditionally. If we only we had the power to make ourselves happy the way we give others that power.

Because maybe if we learn to treat ourselves the way we treat the ones we love, we won’t question ourselves every night, we won’t doubt our greatness every morning, we won’t wonder why no one wants us or why no one loves us, we won’t debate whether or not we’re good enough and we won’t be too hard on ourselves.

Maybe if we learn to treat ourselves the way we treat the ones we love, we’ll find that there’s so much more to love, that we have qualities that make us special, that we don’t always have to compare ourselves to others and feel like we’re behind. We’ll find that all we needed was a change in perspective because we’ll never be perfect but it’s important to be kind to ourselves every step of the way.

Maybe then we’ll understand what kind of love we really deserve and we’ll learn not to settle for those who can’t love us or those who treat us poorly.

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.