Thought Catalog

When You Lose Everyone You Once Loved

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christian acosta

Life is difficult and sometimes it gives you exactly what you need and then takes it away from you and sometimes it gives you everything you want except for the one thing you need.

You lose the ones you really loved or they lose you, it doesn’t matter because either way they’re no longer in your life even though they’re still in your heart. They’re no longer present even if you still see them. They’re strangers even if they used to be lovers.

You’re forced to avoid them, even though they’re the only ones who can make you happy. You’re forced to stop yourself from reaching out because they don’t care and you’re better off without them. You’re forced to pretend to live an amazing life without admitting that you miss them because they don’t miss you. You’re forced to live a lie, hiding from the painful truth.

Everyone talks to you except for the ones you really need to talk to. Everyone thinks you’re special, except for the ones you put on a pedestal. Everyone keeps trying to love you except for the ones you love.

And sometimes you wonder what’s the point? What’s the point of loving someone who couldn’t love you? What’s the point in missing someone who doesn’t miss you? Why do you keep thinking about someone who’s not thinking about you?

And why is it always the ones who broke us that make us happy? Why do we miss what destroyed us? Why do we seek happiness from those who made us cry?

I wish I had a solid answer. I wish I had a scientific explanation. I wish I had a solution but I don’t. All I know is that it must have happened for you to learn something. For you to know yourself, for you to know love, for you to know heartbreak and for you to know what you want or what you deserve. It must have happened because it moved you. It changed you. It touched your heart. It brought you closer to someone. It made you pursue your passion. It taught you more about God or faith.

One way or another, you gain something in return when you lose something valuable. Sometimes you gain something better and sometimes you just gain yourself. Just knowing that you can still survive and knowing that you can still stand alone when you lose a piece of your heart.

It breaks you but it also makes you stronger because that’s how ironic life is. That’s how life works. That’s just life. TC mark

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.

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